Different
by Eviefan
Summary: While Renesmee struggles with being different, Edward and Bella face moving away from Forks to start a new life and the challenges of being parents to such a unique child. Story Completed.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Twilight and the characters associated with the story belong the Stephenie Meyer. I acknowledge that they do not belong to me, and am merely borrowing them for this particular story.**

**Different**

**Chapter 1: Hiding and the Truth**

The clearing, on the rare sunny days of spring, was a magical place to be, at least for the small child sitting on the damp grass, while running her hands through a thatch of clover. She had on a pink dress which covered all but her bare feet and ankles, as she sat with her legs straight out in front of her. A gently breeze ruffled through her soft brown curls, and the expression on her angel face was one of frustration. "I can't find one," she finally said, in a whispered voice she rarely ever used.

A tall young man standing a little behind her, who had been deep in thought until she spoke, moved by her side and sat down. "What can't you find Nessie?"

The voice was youthful, and the face that Renesmee looked into was of her very best friend. Since he was so much taller, even when sitting, the little girl had to stand up. She reached out and put her hand against his cheek. With little effort, Renesmee showed Jacob the picture she had found of the four leaf clover, in a book at Grandpa Charlie's.

"Ahh," Jacob answered, as she pulled her hand away. Her response was a big smile.

Satisfied that he now understood what she wanted, Renesmee sat back down waiting for him to help. When he didn't, she furrowed her brows and looked back at him. The expression on his face wasn't a happy one, and that started her to worry again. Lately everyone seemed sad, well maybe not everyone, but Grandpa Charlie was, at least some of the time. "Jacob, why are you sad?"

She watched as he shook his head before he cast his gaze back on her. The sad expression was gone, and Jacob smiled at her. "Sorry about that, I was just thinking about something."

That was almost the same thing Grandpa Charlie said last night, and suddenly, for some reason, Renesmee felt angry. "Why are you hiding from me Jacob? You are my best friend in the world and you were sad. Grandpa was too and I know there is something wrong," she finally said, feeling quite upset all of the sudden.

In an instant, the little girl found herself caught up in Jacob's arms and didn't mind as he hugged her. For a moment, she rested her cheek against his broad shoulder, taking in a breath, and then another before she calmed down. "Don't hide from me," she whispered sadly.

"Ness, I'm sorry about hiding," he said, as Renesmee lifted her head so that she could see into his eyes.

That sad expression was back on his face, and Renesmee felt her stomach do strange things. "Why don't you want to tell me?" It was evident by the way he looked at her, that he didn't want to say anything about what he was hiding.

"No, you have it all wrong. I do want to tell you, it's just that… aww screw them. Nessie the reason why some of us are feeling sad lately is because of the big change for all of us. See…"

"Jacob!" That voice belonged to her daddy, and he sounded angry, but why?

In an instant he was in front of them and he looked angry. "Nessie, go back to the house please." As he spoke to her, Renesmee noticed that his gaze was softer and from that she knew he wasn't angry at her too, but it still bothered her all the same.

"I want to know about the hiding," she said softly, unafraid to speak her thoughts to him even though he was capable of hearing her in his mind.

He knelt down, and a moment later she was standing in front of him while Jacob stood behind her. The moment her daddy reached for her, Renesmee went into his arms. "I promise that we will explain things to you, but right now I need time with Jacob, alone."

Worried that her daddy might somehow hurt Jacob, but feeling silly for that notion, Renesmee hesitated for only a moment before she placed her small hand against his cheek. Her memory was of the time her momma had almost attacked Jacob.

"No, I promise it won't happen like that," he said, in a very gentle, soothing tone.

"Nessie, would you come hunting with me?" Aunt Alice asked.

Hesitantly, Renesmee pulled away from her father, looking at him, then back at Jacob. He had his arms folded over his chest, and looked angry like daddy.

When Alice took her hand, Renesmee let her aunt lead her away, glancing back as they slowly walked into the trees.

**~*~*~*~**

The small doe in front of her, lifeless and drained of its blood, was something she barely looked at. Renesmee was no longer hungry, but, was instead distracted by Jacob's strange mood and everything else he had said.

"Nessie, do you smell that?" Alice asked.

"I don't want to smell," she whispered, standing up without a spot of anything on her pink dress.

Her Aunt left her own kill, and came to her side. "Why don't we go pick more of those wild flowers you love so much?"

"You are hiding too." Renesmee realized, at that moment, that everyone must know something that she did not. It was suddenly too much, and without thought to what she was doing or where she was going, Renesmee began to run. She was not as fast as the rest of her family and much smaller than the rest but her tiny legs carried her a great distance in a short amount time. When she finally stopped running and turned around, Renesmee was surprised. Instead of Alice, her momma was there.

"Please tell me now." Her sad voice went along with the very sad expression on her face.

Bella reached out, and Renesmee launched into her arms. "I'm sorry we didn't say anything. We need to move," she answered without hesitation.

That didn't make much since to her, and Renesmee touched her momma's cheek showing her how they had just been running.

"Not in that way," Bella began to explain as she sat down.

Renesmee sat facing her, figuring out another first by the tone of her momma's voice. She was also sad. "Don't be sad Momma." She put her hand on Bella's cheek, remembering well what being sad was like. It hadn't been that long ago since the time the Volturi came, and with that the fear that her family would be separated. They had all been sad, so Renesmee understood that.

"You are my amazing angel, do you realize that?"

"Please tell me why no one wants me to know." She moved her hand to rest against her lap.

"We do want you to know, we just didn't want to worry you. Renesmee, I'm sorry we kept this from you; it's just that this is difficult for me, and I didn't want to frighten you. We have to move away from here."

It was now clear in her mind. Moving meant that they were going to find another place to live. Just a few days ago when she was at Grandpa Charlie's house, Renesmee remembered him talking to Sue about Grandma Renee and Grandpa Phil moving from the house in a place called Phoenix to another place called Jacksonville. When they stopped talking, she had asked in a simple way what that meant. Grandpa Charlie had been surprised, but had answered her anyway.

Putting her hand back on her momma's cheek Renesmee showed her about what Grandpa Charlie had said, along with his surprise, and from that formed her question on why they needed to move.

"We can't live in a place for too long, and I want to attend college," Bella answered, smiling a little.

Renesmee sighed, feeling worse, but decided not to let them see. That would be easy, only daddy could read thoughts, and so she was going to try and not to think of her sadness if she could at all help it. "I want to pick flowers with Alice now."

**~*~*~*~**

Another day had come to an end, and Bella sat on the side of her daughter's bed watching her sleep. It still felt like a dream, but there were no longer those worries that had plagued them in the beginning of her new life as a vampire. For Bella, there was only the sadness in knowing that they had to move. The reasons were not really about going off to college, but revolved around Charlie. He was getting more and more uneasy. He didn't want to know the full truth and he was being strong, but Charlie could not overlook the fact that his granddaughter was almost the size of a three year old, and was barely a year old in biological years.

More than anything else, Bella wanted to tell him everything, but she knew the danger that would put him in. If he asked her for the truth, she would have a hard time not telling him as Jacob had so boldly and foolishly done with his own secret. Thus far Charlie had not, and it was a relief for her.

For the rest of the day, her daughter had played happily with Jacob and Alice, and Bella was grateful that Renesmee still possessed a child's mind. Oh her little girl's mind was so much more complex than any other child, but at the same time she had all the innocence of a little girl. Her mind was complex and yet she seemed to adapt easily to the life she had been brought into.

"Is she really as happy as she seems?"

Edward had entered the small room at that time, and knelt by the bed placing his hand gently against their daughter's cheek. Bella watched him, waiting.

"I think she is relieved to know what everyone else does, and relieved that I'm no longer angry with Jacob. I'm not sure she is as happy as she seems." As Edward said that, Bella watched as he moved his fingers through their daughter's soft hair. "She was very active today and she talked more verbally than she normally does. When I try to read her thoughts they are jumbled."

The peace she had felt just moments before, began to crumble as he told her what he heard in her mind. "I should have, we should have said something at the beginning, but she already worries about being different," Bella's words were softly spoken, and so quick that only a vampire would hear and understand.

The moment Bella finished, Edward was on his feet in front of her and when he offered his hand she took it. He led them away from their daughter's room toward their own.

Their bedroom wasn't very far away from Renesmee's and once the door was closed, Bella was drawn into her husband's arms. "This is not going to be easy for her. I had hoped we could stay longer, but after you told me what she showed you of Charlie's reaction the other day, it solidifies the decision we all need to make."

"Maybe if we told him," Bella tried, feeling the pain her daughter was toward saying goodbye. Forks was their home, now, more so than ever. "I'm sure that his knowing would be easier to hide than when I found out about all of you."

"Do you really believe that?" asked Edward, as his left brow drew up.

Edward still couldn't read her mind unless she threw the shield away from her body, and Bella considered doing that, but in the last moment decided not too. She shut her eyes as she began to speak. "When I was growing up I had to be the adult Edward," began Bella as she sat down on their bed. "I don't want Renesmee to feel uprooted the way I did."

When he was seated beside her, Bella turned her head seeing the sadness in his eyes. "I guess we didn't really anticipate her reaction to having to move from one place to the next," Edward offered, able to see the point she was trying to make. "But she won't have to be the grown up Bella. We are her parents, and we know from your experiences what we need to do differently. The first thing is keeping her informed, and to help her understand that this is not her fault."

All Bella could do in response was to nod. Her human years were still a fog, but the manner in which she had grown up was still a fairly vivid memory for her.

**~*~*~*~*~**

It had been very easy to climb out her window, and at the same time remember the dream and play that over in her mind. The likelihood of being able to get away without her daddy knowing about it was very slim, but Renesmee wanted to be alone. The dream was about her Grandpa Charlie knowing all about them so that they could live in Forks forever.

In only a few short minutes Renesmee reached the clearing and was immediately lifted off her feet. "What are you doing out here alone at night?" Jacob asked gruffly.

The dream disappeared in light of something else she thought of. When she began to cry he hugged her. "I didn't mean to make you cry," he said.

"I don't want to leave you," Renesmee answered, as she cried softly against his chest.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Jacob sat down on the damp ground, glad for once that it wasn't raining. At the same time, he wondered how Nessie had gotten away from the cabin without Edward knowing. "It won't be forever," he said as he rocked her.

"This is my fault. I don't stay the same," she answered in a voice barely above a whisper.

Seeing her in such pain was really difficult for Jacob to handle, and he considered running away with her only for a moment. "None of this has anything to do with you okay," he said, as he rubbed her back. While trying to calm her, Jacob could hear the fast approach of foot fall, and knew that Edward and Bella were on their way. More than anything else, he wanted to be the one to make Nessie feel better, but since that day with the Volturi, Edward and Bella were more protective of her. With that knowledge in mind, as they appeared in the clearing, Jacob knew he was going to have to leave her care with them.

"I don't want to leave Jacob," Nessie said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Jacob, why don't you come back to the cottage," Bella suggested, and he felt relief that he would be able to stay with Nessie. It was going to be a real test of his will, not to go with them to New Hampshire. If not for his pack, along with need to keep his people safe, Jacob would be doing just that. As they made their way back to the cabin Jacob could feel the small child he held in his arms start to relax.

"You can live with us," Nessie said suddenly, as she lifted her head, looking right into his eyes with chocolate brown ones of her own.

How was he supposed to break her heart all over especially seeing such hope in her gaze? Now Jacob was glad that Nessie had parents, and it was Edward who came to the rescue, as he opened the door for them.

"Jacob has his pack to take care of," he answered, using a soothing tone as he spoke.

She still seemed hopeful. "They can come too," she said, as she yawned and smiled all in the same moment.

"Right now," Edward said, "you need to go to sleep," As he spoke, he lead them to the smaller bedroom while at the same time avoiding that discussion for a later time.

Once there Jacob leaned forward and put his small charge down in the sturdy bed. She had let go of his neck, but quickly grasped his hand holding on with both of hers. "I'm not going anywhere," responding to the panicked expression on her face. Jacob did however make room for her parents to hug and kiss her, something a little difficult with her hands still holding on to him.

"Jacob can stay with you, but you have to go to sleep," Edward told both of them as he looking from Nessie to Jacob.

"Night Daddy, love you. Love you Momma."

Once they were gone Nessie relaxed even more, letting go of his hand as she yawned again. "Jacob?"

"Nope, you need to sleep, just like your Dad said."

It was almost comical the way she looked at him with her lips puckered into a pout, but after another moment, her eyes grew heavy and a few minutes later she was asleep again.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Once sure she would remain asleep, Jacob went out into the very small front room, keeping his head ducked as he had when he entered the cabin. He sat down on the ottoman beside Bella. "I'm sorry I didn't bring her back when I found her."

"Don't worry about that. I never thought she would go off alone at night."

"Did Edward know she was doing that?"

When she didn't answer right away, Jacob seemed to understand why. "Oh, um," he said not sure what else to say.

"He was pretty upset when he figured out what had happened. We both get distracted," she said looking away from him.

"Yeah, um I think maybe I'll morph and sleep outside her window if that's okay with you."

"Sure," she agreed.

Outside, the moonlight glowed brightly against everything. Jacob rested beside the small window of Nessie's room, glad that vampires could be quiet when they wanted to be. He really had no desire to hear anything other than Nessie's steady breath.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Authors Notes:** _I just wanted to make note of how I figured her aging. For every biological year she ages three, by the time she is seven she would be like a 21 year old, so maybe not exactly three, but I'm just hoping to give you a rough idea of how this works at least in my verse. I love reviews, so please don't be shy, constructive is good. I also wanted to point out that Nessie is used in Jacob's point of view, the rest of the time I will just use Renesmee._

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Tree Tops, Music, and a Talk**

The small figurine on my desk was ordinary. She was ivory, and she was holding a flower in her hand. The colors next to her, which I had opened, were for making her skin and the clothes she wore into something else. I like painting, but I'm not very good at it.

My room at Grandpa Carlisle's and Grandma Esme's used to be my Daddy's, but he gave it to me so I could be by myself. Mostly I like being with them, but lately all they talk about is moving away, and I don't like hearing about it anymore. I'm happy here with my Jacob and with them, so why do we really have to move?

That funny feeling in my tummy reminded me that I was thinking too much about the sad. Leaving the ivory girl and my paints on my desk, I hopped down, and went over to my bed. I picked up my MP3 player that daddy gave me for Christmas and brought it back to the desk. The first song that started to play for me was my favorite, Claire De Lune. I think I like it because I know my daddy and momma do. Once the music began playing I got back to work.

"Hmm," I told my new friend. "I think you need violet eyes." I wanted her to have them, because that's what color my Aunt Rose's were before she was born as a vampire. I got the skinny brush and mixed the colors until I got what I needed, then I touched them to her eyes. "I wonder what it's like to be normal," I said to my friend. I know she can't talk back to me, but sometimes I don't care.

"If I was normal we wouldn't have to go away." Something made it hard to see, and then I knew. I put the brush down, and wiped the stupid tear away. No one but me cries. Jacob can, and Grandpa Charlie, but they know how not to do it. I don't usually feel sad, but now that's me all the time, sad little Renesmee.

I know better than to leave my paints uncapped, but right then I didn't care. I ran to my bed and pulled the covers back. Once I was lying down I pulled them over me, shutting my eyes. My music was still playing, but I barely heard it because of all the sad things I was thinking.

My daddy and mommy are gone right now. They left this morning to go check on things at our new house. I'm sad for them to go, but I said they could.

Someone heavy sat on my bed because it started to sink and I rolled a little. "Do you want to talk? Alice said you were sad."

That was Uncle Emmett. "I don't want to be sad."

"Well, we need to find the good things about going to a new place don't we?"

I sniffed but stayed where I was. "I wish I was normal Uncle Emmett." There, I finally said it.

The covers moved away as if by themselves, but I knew it was him. He lifted me up and cradled me in his arms. "I don't wish that. I like you just the way you are," he said. His eyes were golden, but I could tell by the way his face was, and by the look in them that he was really meaning it.

"You are supposed to say that," I told him, still feeling sad as he plucked my ear plugs out of my ears.

Suddenly we were by the window, and a blink later I was on his back. He leaped, and we went really fast. He grabbed a tree and we went really far up.

All around us were the tops of the big trees. I could see past them, and saw the river. The sky was gray as it always is, but it wasn't raining. Emmett helped me sit down on a branch, a big one, because if it were tiny it would break, because he's heavy and we would fall and my daddy would get mad.

"See how pretty it is up here?"

I nodded, looking up at the gray clouds swirling slowly around.

"There is much more than this one small place that we live in. I know it's not going to be easy for you when we move, but I bet if you tried you might find the new place to be just as good as it is here."

For a second I wondered if he was right. "But my Jacob won't be with me." I looked down at my hands.

"Nessie, he won't be as far away as you think, and you can call and talk to him as often as you want." He put his big arm around me, and I leaned against him feeling safe.

"I miss Daddy and Momma."

"I thought you might," he said, as we felt a few drops of rain.

How come he knew so much? I know several things too. I'm special. All of my family says that, but I don't know what Emmett does, and sometimes everyone else. "Will I learn at school like you and Momma and Daddy?"

When he didn't say anything, I turned my head to the right looking up at him. "I can't go can I" I didn't even want him to answer me. "I want to go to my room now."

**~*~*~*~*~**

My room was really dark when I opened my eyes and I almost felt happy. When I sat up though, I remembered the tree, and what Uncle Emmett didn't tell me. I'm old enough to do most things on my own, so maybe I was old enough to stay here with Jacob while everyone else went away. Me and Jake could live in the cottage, and no one would have to know.

"Hey," I heard him say from somewhere in my room.

"Jacob, I found a very good idea for me and for you," I said sitting up.

My small Tiffany lamp on the table turned on before he sat next to me.

"What idea is that?"

"Well, I'm old enough to get dressed, and I can catch my own food. I can take a bath if there is stool by the tub. I know how to read, so I think I should stay here and live with you. We can stay in the cottage." The more my idea came to me, the more I liked it.

"What would happen if there was a really bad thunder storm?"

Those scare me more than anything else, and only my daddy knows how to make me feel better. I didn't want to think about things like that. "Well maybe we will watch the weather, and if there is one coming Daddy could come back and stay until it goes away."

He hugged me close, and I felt him kiss the top of my head. "Don't you think you might get sad if they were all gone?"

"I want to play chess," I said, not willing to let my sadness back inside me.

"Aww Ness, you know how bad I am at it."

"Okay, checkers."

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Not much later we were playing, and I got the first king. "Jacob, can the pack move with us?"

Since he was trying to think of a move, I didn't mind waiting for him to answer me. I smiled when he got a king. "Well, I'm not sure about that. We have always stayed in this area."

It was my turn to make a move and I didn't see anything that would help much. I finally made one even though I knew he could jump me. That was when I heard it for the first time. The sound was a distant rumble, but I knew what it meant.

Just one blink and Jacob was holding me. We both sat very still listening, and maybe a minute later we heard it again. "It's not going to hurt us," I said for me more than him.

"Nope, thunder storms are just a part of nature," he said, sounding very sure.

Of course I knew that, but sometimes it sounded like the thunder was going to crash my house down, and the lightening would shoot right through me.

"Nessie are you okay?" asked Aunt Rosalie, a moment before she came in my room. I knew she wasn't very happy when Jake was around, but she was nice right now.

"I want to call daddy," I said.

Another rumble and I pushed back into Jacob's arms. Why did it have to thunder when he was a trillion miles away?

While Jacob hugged me closer, Aunt Rose brought the phone. She was talking, but she gave it to me. "Daddy a storm is coming to get me."

"Shh, you are safe inside. Is Jacob with you?"

I nodded before I thought about it. "Yes, but I need you here." I really meant that.

"Do you have your MP3 player close by?"

"On my bed." Jacob walked us there, and put it in my hands but he didn't let me go and I was really glad.

It was getting louder, and I shut my eyes feeling my heart beating faster. "I don't want it to get me."

"Jacob will keep you safe for me," Daddy said. I put one ear piece in my other ear, and put his lullaby on.

"It's getting louder." My voice sounded louder too, and I was glad when Jacob put a blanket over me.

"Do you remember what thunder is?" Daddy asked.

"It is made by lightening. Oh that's loud. Daddy?" He didn't answer and I looked at the phone just when everything got really dark. That was when I felt Jacob moving us again and my MP3 drop somewhere on my bed, but I was too afraid to ask him why, or even where we were going.

Even though he was strong and very brave, it wasn't the same as having my daddy there with us. "Don't let the thunder get me." I sniffed, as more of it rumbled. It sounded like it was going to knock at the door and ask if it could have me for lunch or dinner.

"No one will let anything happen to you," Jacob said. He pulled the blanket away and we were in the family room. The windows were covered now, but I still felt worried.

A big clap of thunder made me jump, and that's when I also started crying. Jacob let Grandpa hold me. "I need daddy here," I said as I clung to him. Grandpa was very smart, he would not let the thunder and lightening have me.

"I know you are frightened, and he will be home tomorrow," Grandpa said, as he carried me over to the sofa. He sat down and I hugged him and my Grandma Esme. More Thunder banged around outside and I felt a little better but not much. "I guess I'll never be able to watch you play baseball," I said still sniffing as grandma blotted my eyes with a tissue.

"You will when you are ready," she answered.

"Do they have storms in Hanover?"

Grandpa hugged me close right before another big boom of thunder rumbled outside of the house. I shut my eyes, and felt my breath going away. Something pressed to my ear then.

"Renesmee?"

"Daddy, why did you hang up on me? The thunder is still mad and I need you now," I sobbed.

"Shhh, I'm sorry."

Was this going to always be me? "I just want to be happy."

"I know you do. Momma and I are coming back to get you tomorrow. We won't stay here long but we both think it might be better for you to stay with us."

That made me feel just a little better. "Is it warm there?"

"About like it was when we left this morning. Do you realize that tomorrow will be your first time on a plane?"

I hadn't thought about that. "No, is that scary?"

"I don't think that it is. You can see so much when you are flying."

"Is our house in the woods?" Daddy started talking, and I listened to him. At some point the lights came back on and Grandpa put me on the sofa while Jacob sat with me. I yawned a few times as daddy told me about my new room. "I'm glad the closet is normal size," I whispered, making sure Aunt Alice wasn't close by. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but the last time they talked, she said I needed a very big one, but I don't need it.

"Is the storm still going on?"

I looked around. The TV was on and Uncle Emmett was sitting with Aunt Rose on his lap. He had laughed when I said the thing about my closet. "I think it's gone away."

"It's pretty late there right now. Why don't you read to Jacob for a while?"

"But I miss you," I whispered.

Jacob hugged me closer, seeming to know I needed him just now.

"I miss you too. Why don't you talk to Momma for a second?"

"Okay, but I still need you."

"Renesmee?" Momma sounded worried.

They were going to make me go to bed soon. "Hi, Momma." I held Jacob's hand turning it over while I traced my finger on his palm.

"Is everything okay now?"

"Yes, but I'm sad because we had a bad storm, and Daddy was gone." Most of the time I didn't get grumpy, but now I felt that way, along with being sad and lonely.

"We didn't know it was going to be such a bad one. Are you excited about flying on the plane?"

I guess I was because I started to think all about what Daddy told me, and I started talking really fast too. "Yes. Daddy said that I can have the window seat. He said that they have movies they play since we are going to be on the plane for a long time and he said that I can have Doritos, but do you know what I'm most happy for?" I didn't give her a chance to guess. "I'm most happy because I get to be with you and Daddy and he said we were not going to stay a long time so I can come back and I can tell Jacob everything about the new house. Momma I think I should live here in the cottage with Jacob." I had mostly forgotten about that part of my day.

Momma was silent for a moment. "Well, why don't we talk about that some tomorrow? Right now you need to get some rest. You have a big day waiting for you."

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

After we were done on the phone, I gave everyone hugs and kisses and let Jacob carry me back to my room. It was quite again, but I was too excited to try and sleep or even read to him.

I listened to my MP3 music again, and started to feel tired after listening to my lullaby. Jacob had turned into a wolf and was resting on the floor by my bed, and that was almost as good as having daddy there.

"Nessie, I thought you might want something before you went to bed," Grandma said. My music was soft so I could hear her. I sat up as she stepped around my Jacob and took my purple cup from her. Sometimes when Momma and Daddy are gone, I get to have human blood. It isn't very often anymore, but I felt a little better once I started to drink.

"Grandma, are you and Grandpa coming with us to Hanover?"

Instead of answering me she bent down, I think to take off her shoes, but I didn't see. She sat down on my bed and I let her hold me close as I took another sip from my cup.

"I think when the time comes, you and your parents will go ahead with out us. Grandpa and I want to visit with our friends in Denali for a while."

That was sort of sad, but I was already feeling sleepy and my hand kind of shook. She helped me hold my cup. "Did you have a baby one time?" Daddy said she did, but he said to not tell her I knew because it makes her sad. I wanted to know, I hope she doesn't tell him.

"One time I had a baby boy. He was very sick when he was born."

I snuggled closer letting her put my cup away. "Daddy said I can't talk about him cause you get sad."

"I do get sad sometimes, but I don't mind talking about him."

Sometimes I wondered if her baby didn't die, if she would be with us or not. "I bet if he was with you, we wouldn't be with you either." It was sort of confusing, just like the rest of my life.

"I sometimes believe everything happens for a reason. They may not be what you want at the time, but there is always a reason. Now, my little lady bug, I know your daddy expected you to be in bed at least an hour ago," she said, and I pouted.

"But I will be sad if I go to sleep."

Grandma was really good about making me do things. She hugged me close. "Close your eyes."

I did what she asked, glad she was here even with my Jacob close by. When I had my eyes closed she hummed momma's lullaby. I felt safe here with them and I wasn't afraid to go to sleep now. Tomorrow would be fun, but I would be sad not having Jacob going too.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Authors Note:** _I am going to continue the rest of the story in first person. I might add Bella's and Edward's thoughts in the next chapter. I would love to hear what you think about the story thus far so please hit the little button and post a review. Thanks. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Waiting**

The tapping noise woke me up, and when I opened my eyes it was brighter but not very much. The rain falling on my window was what woke me up, and I wondered what time it was. Would daddy and momma be home? When I looked down on the floor my Jacob was gone, and I felt my bottom lip moving out. Momma calls that my pout. I do it when I'm sad. Jacob has to be with his pack, but I wish he could always be with me.

It was time to get up, so I did that and before I got away from my bed, I grabbed Jack. Jack is a stuffed animal. He's a wolf. Jacob got him for me, because I wanted him when we were at that little store near first beach in La Push. Jack isn't as neat as Jacob, because he doesn't do anything, but sometimes I talk to him when I'm sad.

Downstairs the TV was on, but I was glad not to see something about sports on it. People were talking instead, so that meant it was the news. I went over to the sofa with Jack in my left arm. Grandpa was there with a book, but he put it down when I got to him. I let him pick me up, and snuggled next to him watching the TV for only a second. Sometimes I like talking, and sometimes I don't. I reached out and put my hand on his neck, showing him momma and daddy.

"Your Aunt Rose, and Uncle Emmett have gone to retrieve them from the airport, they won't be long."

This time I showed him a memory of grandma.

"She is with Jasper and Alice hunting. Are you hungry?"

I shook my head, looking back at the TV as he gave me the control. I am better about being careful with it. I broke one because I pressed the buttons down too hard. The channels moved till I found what I wanted. It was a movie where people dance around and sing. Momma said they call them musicals.

"South Pacific," Grandpa said.

I nodded. I like the movies where they dance and sing. Maybe when I get older I can dance, but I don't know about singing because my voice isn't normal, just like the rest of me. Thinking about that made me feel bad, and I hugged Jack closer before I remembered my Jacob.

"Jacob had to help Sam with a few things. He promised to stop by and see you later today," Grandpa answered, after I showed Jacob to him in my memory.

When the movie got tiring, I left my grandpa and went back to my room. "You sit here," I told Jack. When he was comfortable, back on my bed, I went to my closet and decided today I wanted to wear my ballet outfit.

Aunt Alice is always getting me pretty clothes. Sometimes I like them. I put on the pink tights first, and after that the blue tutu, and the matching skirt. The last thing I got was my butterfly wings that Aunt Alice got for me too.

"Jack you need hands," I said, not really wanting to go back downstairs. I did anyway because I wanted to wear wings. Grandpa was still on the sofa and helped me put them on before I climbed up and sat with him again. This time I wanted to use my words. "Grandpa if there are vampires and werewolves, and shape-shifters, why can't there be Faeries?" Sometimes instead of being a half human half vampire girl, I wanted to be a Faerie instead.

He smiled at me. "I'm not sure why," he answered.

I sighed, resting my left cheek against his chest on the left side, as he put his arm around me. "Maybe no one knows about them. No one knew about Jacob until it happened, and no one knew about vampires until that happened too."

"That is a very good thought," he agreed.

My movie was still on and I decided to watch it, thinking about Jack. I wondered if he could think about me.

The people in my movie were dancing again when the door opened, and only Alice Jasper and grandma came in. Grandma sat next to me and grandpa, and I hugged her but looked at my movie watching them dance.

"Nessie, do you want to dance?" Aunt Alice asked.

I shook my head, yawning as I leaned back into grandpa's arms.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

It was obvious that my granddaughter still missed her parents, and I wanted to be able to help her feel better. I had attempted once to get her to go hunt with me, but she just shook her head as she watched South Pacific. I have been gravely concerned about splitting the family up, even if it is only for a couple of months. For Renesmee the move alone will be difficult enough, I can't imagine how not having all of us under one roof will affect her.

Her rapid growth has started to slow down and at this juncture she resembles a child of two and a half. I have calculated what I have seen so far with her growth, and estimate that every biological year she celebrates will be marked by three years physically. Nahuel was a great asset in helping us figure out some of Renesmee's growth patterns, though he has noticed that it has differed with his sister's and him.

A small hand on my neck followed by the mental image of Nessie drinking from her purple cup returned my attention to her. As a rule, we try to have her hunt or even eat some regular food, but given the fact that it is raining quite hard I decide to give her what she wants.

It didn't take me long to prepare the blood and put it into her purple cup secure with a lid. Once she had that and I was sitting again, she resumed leaning against me. "Are you going to dance for us?" I asked her.

She shook her head, still fixated on the TV. Just in the past week, she has begun to really enjoy watching musicals. I'm glad that we have a station that specializes in playing them.

"Have you heard from Rose and Emmett," asked my wife.

"Not in the past hour. The flight should be due in, about now," I told her, as she took the seat on my other side.

"Perhaps we need to put off our trip to Denali," she suggested, mirroring my own thoughts of just moments before.

Renesmee's head sagged against me, and I took her cup before it could drop from her hands, giving it to Esme. "I was thinking along the same lines," I agreed.

My love leaned against my other side and as she did, I kissed the top of her head. "I'm hoping once Edward and Bella return, she will perk up a bit."

"I know. I don't like seeing Renesmee so sad."

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Chopsticks wasn't so hard to play now that I had practiced lots of times. I played it two more times before I stopped, and giggled when Uncle Jazz clapped for me.

"You are getting much better at that. What do you want to learn to play next?" He sat down next to me while I thought about it.

I showed him a memory of daddy playing my lullaby.

"That would take a lot of practice."

When I put my hand on his neck again, I showed him momma and daddy."

"Rose called and said that their plane is delayed, so they won't be here for a while. Do you want to go outside? It's not raining as much.

I nodded, smiling when Aunt Alice came with my purple rain coat and my pink boots. She also had pants for me to put on. Sometimes I don't like having to do things all by my self, so I didn't mind when they both helped me get all ready. What I didn't really like, was that I couldn't wear my wings under my coat.

It wasn't raining outside, but it was really wet, and I jumped in the puddles like Claire had the last time she came with Jacob and Quil. When you splash, you get wet, but I think its fun, so I did it again laughing as Alice tried to get away.

I got a piggy back ride across the river, and after Uncle Jazz put me down I held my head up and sniffed the air. When I smelled something good, I ran as fast as I could, only Uncle Jazz got ahead of me. He got the first Elk, and I got mad. "I wanted that one."

"Nessie there are many more this way," Aunt Alice called out, but I stood where I was with my arms crossed over my chest, angry now. I smelled it first.

When Uncle Jazz brought it to me, I turned around.

"Ness, I didn't know this was the one you wanted," he told me.

I didn't want to talk to him, and it started to rain again which made me feel a lot madder. "I hate the rain," I shrieked.

"Then we should head back," said my Aunt Alice.

"No!" Even with my raincoat on I was getting all wet. Even my tights were getting wet, and I knew I needed to go inside, but I was mad and when I get like that, I don't like anyone to talk to me or touch me.

"Come on Ness," Jazz said, as he tried to take my hand.

"I want to stay here."

When Aunt Alice brought me an umbrella, I got away from her. "I want to go to the cabin."

"Renesmee, we need to go back to the big house so that we can get your things," Alice reminded me.

"But I want to go that way."

She put the umbrella over me. "I want to be wet." Most of the time I'm nice, but some of the time I need to be grumpy.

When Uncle Jazz grabbed me I screamed. "Let go, let go." We were moving really fast. Once we were inside the big house he did let me go, and I almost got out the door before Grandpa got me. I didn't want him either.

"I want to get wet again." For some reason I was crying now and that made me feel mad again. Grandma had a towel for me, and I stood still because I didn't want them to get angry at me for being grumpy. "I don't want to get in new clothes."

They didn't say much, but they helped me get into clean pants and a long purple shirt. I like purple because it's my favorite color, but it didn't matter right now. "What will you do if I go outside?" I asked Grandma, bravely, as she rubbed my hair with a towel.

"Bring you back inside," she said, in a soft voice.

"Would I have to stay in my room?"

"Yes," she told me.

I waited until she was done before I went upstairs, finding Jack where I left him. "Uncle Jazz took my elk."

Jack didn't say anything, and I was glad that he couldn't talk. I hugged him for a second and put him with my pillows.

My window was closed because it was raining and I leaned against it looking down at the ground. My room is high up, and everyone can jump out of my window, but I can't because I would hurt myself if I tried too. Still I thought about it.

"Nessie, do you want any new songs on your I-pod?" asked Aunt Alice.

During the hunt she had been nice to me, but I didn't want to talk, and shook my head.

"Okay, but I don't want you to try jumping from that window."

Aunt Alice can see the future, and I didn't like that much either.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

We had intended to return to Hanover with our daughter today, but after all of the delays due to the weather, we decided to fly out in the morning. When Bella and I walked into the house, I expected to see my little girl straight away, but she wasn't there to greet us.

My mother hugged us both.

"Where is Renesmee?"

"In her room, having some alone time."

From the tone of her voice I could tell something wasn't right. "How bad a day did she have?"

"Pretty bad."

Alice already had her hands on Bella, wanting to show her some new designs at her computer, so I decided to head upstairs and see what was going on.

When I arrived at my little girl's room, the door was closed, but I didn't need to see her to know that she was not happy. Most of the time I knock at her door, but now I simply entered. She was on her bed resting on her belly, talking to her stuffed wolf, Jack.

As I sat down on her bed, she moved as far from me as she could get, still staying on her belly. "Grandma said you had a bad day," I began, hoping I could get her to talk.

When she didn't answer me I tried her thoughts, but she was saying over and over that she didn't want to talk. Since there was enough room for me, I leaned back resting my head on her pillow, hoping I could draw her out. I don't think I have ever seen Renesmee this angry or upset about something, and that worried me. I thought about my mother's expression when we walked into the house, and recalled clearly that she also seemed upset. "Renesmee, did something happen that we need to talk about?" I finally asked.

I heard her sniff and glanced at her. She was still on her tummy, but facing away from me. Deciding that it would be better not to push her, I stood back up, leaning over her as I kissed the top of her head. "When you are ready, I'll be downstairs."

I only took two steps away from her, when I heard a mental shout for me not to go. I turned a second before she leaped into my arms. She grasped around my neck as tight as she could manage, but still didn't talk. I could have focused on her thoughts, but I wanted to her to tell me. "Was it something bad?" I asked, as I sat back on her bed.

I felt her nod once.

"Are you afraid I'll be angry?"

Again I felt her nod.

The last thing I want is for my little girl to be afraid of me, and I wondered just what she could have done to make her worry.

"Ness, listen to me. I love you, I always will love you. There isn't anything you can tell me that would ever make me feel any different."

Her small body against my own started to relax at my words.

I gently rock her for a moment. "Now, please tell me why you are so worried."

Her hand rested against my neck and I shut my eyes watching as her day unfolded in my mind. When she finished, she put her arms between her chest and my own still resting her head against my shoulder.

The only thing she showed me that I didn't like was when she broke Esme's vase out of anger. "It isn't bad to express your feelings, even when you are angry," I said as I turned my head and kissed her again. "But you can't break things, when you don't get what you want."

"I was mad because I wanted to splash outside, but they all said I couldn't do it again," she whispered.

"Do you think it was right to break Grandma's vase?"

"I was mad."

She started to sniff again, and I shut my eyes. I wasn't expecting there to be struggles in her life so soon. We have hardly had to guide her, showing her right from wrong, but I realized that she is still a child, regardless of all the things she can do. She is obviously going to have moments like what she did today. "I'm sorry you were angry, but you are not to ever break anything again when you are!" I said sternly.

Her body stiffened, and she began to cry. I leaned back again, resting on her bed while she settled against my chest. I let her cry herself out, waiting for a moment to talk to her. "Do you remember how sad you were when your figurine broke last week?"

She nodded.

"Grandma was very sad that you broke that vase. Do you believe it is right to make other people sad, just to show them that you are angry?" She didn't answer, still sniffing.

I looked at the door finding Bella there, a worried expression crossing her beautiful features. I knew she wanted to be with us, but I also knew that we might end up never getting through to our daughter if she got distracted again. I shook my head and Bella left.

Finally I decided that it was time to take action and sat back up. "I'm going to let you stay here with Jack now. When you are ready to come and talk to us, you are welcome to do so. I also want you to be ready to apologize to your Grandma."

A fresh set of tears were moving down her face, as I laid her down in her bed. If I still had a beating heart, it would be aching for her. I kissed Renesmee's tears away, and turned, leaving before I changed my mind.

When I walked down the hall rounding the corner to go down stairs, Bella was waiting. "What did she do?"

"She had a tantrum of sorts and broke one of Esme's vases."

Bella looked as surprised as I must have when Renesmee revealed that part of her memories to me. "I told her she has to stay in her room until she is ready to come down and apologize."

"I can't believe she would do that. She's so smart, Edward."

"Yes, but she is still a little girl, and I think a lot of this acting out has to do with everything she has been through these past few days. We still need to teach her how to control her anger."

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

My daddy made me cry, and I didn't want to be away from him, but I didn't want to say sorry. I pulled Jack over my face and cried again. It wasn't fair. We are leaving and I won't know anyone at all. Crying wasn't helping me feel better, so I made it stop, but still hugged Jack to my face. "We have to say sorry Jack, but I don't want to do it."

"Why do you have to say sorry?" That was my Jacob, and I threw Jack away and was hugging Jake before I could think about anything else.

I put my hand on his cheek and showed him what I did when I got mad about not getting to go outside. I showed him what daddy said too. After that I looked over his shoulder, and saw that my window was open. "Daddy won't be happy if you are here."

"Don't worry about that. Why don't you want to tell your Grandma that you're sorry, you usually don't do stuff like that."

That wasn't easy to figure out. I don't like that she was sad, but I don't know why. I rested my hand on his cheek, and let me see what happened with Uncle Jazz and Aunt Alice.

"Sounds like you had a pretty bad day today."

I was glad he got it.

"You know, it might make you feel better to talk to your Grandma about how you feel. It looks like you are pretty sad, and also mad. Maybe she can help you."

Grandma is fun to talk to, and she knows how it feels to be sad. "I have to go by myself. Stay here with Jack," I said, softly as he put me down. When I went out of my room I went slowly, and it took me longer to get downstairs, but I wanted to go slow. Grandma was fixing flowers in some of the vases, and I watched her being very quiet.

When she saw me, she put her flowers down and came to me, kneeling down beside me. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

It felt good when she hugged me close. "Thank you for apologizing. I'm sorry you had such a bad day today."

"I don't like feeling sad," I told her.

She picked me up and took me back upstairs to her room. We sat down on a sofa, but she held me and I wanted her too.

"Do you know what the best part of moving is?"

I shook my head.

"The best part of moving is getting to see new things. I liked living in Denali, but I wasn't prepared for how much I would love being here in Forks. I understand why you are so sad Renesmee, but we will come back someday."

I showed her a memory of Grandpa Charlie. I didn't want to leave him and change so he wouldn't know who I was when we came back.

Grandma hugged me closer. "I'm not sure what to tell you. We have to keep him safe, just like keeping you safe. I do know that your Momma will continue to talk to him on the telephone."

"It isn't the same as seeing him."

"I know it isn't, and I'm sorry," she said, as I hugged her. "Why don't you and I get some of those pictures that were taken at his house during Christmas, and put them in a book for you to have when you miss him? How does that sound?"

I nodded, and she picked me up, carrying me back downstairs. Momma and Daddy were talking, but they stopped to listen to her idea.

"I have most of them at the cottage," Momma said. I leaned out and she took me, hugging me close.

"Can we go get them?"

"Yes, we need to head that way anyway. Esme, do you mind if we bring them to you later?"

"Not at all Bella."

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

My bed at the cottage had all of the Christmas pictures on it, and Momma and I were laughing at the faces Grandpa Charlie had made. "I was smaller then," I said picking up one of the pictures. It was me opening the puzzle that Sam and Emily had gotten for me. "Momma, can we have all the pictures in the book so that when I get sad I can see them?"

"Yes, I think that is a great idea."

That made me feel lots better. It was late, and I was wearing my favorite nighty. It has a faery on it named Tinkerbelle. She is in a book I like called Peter Pan. Momma read that to me, and I read it sometimes too. There is a movie about Peter Pan, a cartoon with drawings and real people in them too. I don't like them as much as my book. "Why doesn't Grandpa Charlie like his picture taken?"

"I think it makes him uncomfortable," she said, as she started to gather them up.

I didn't want to have to go to bed. I got on my knees and put my hand on her cheek, to show us looking at the pictures.

"After you go to bed, Grandma will put these in an album for you to have on the plane tomorrow. It's time for you to get some rest."

That wasn't any fun. "But I forgot Jack."

My daddy came into my room and gave me my friend. "I need to see Jake."

He came in with his head ducked down. He's so very tall, that if he didn't do that, he would whack it on the ceiling. "Why do I have to go to bed, I already had to stay in bed when I broke the vase."

When Jake tried to hug me I turned around.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

It looked as though the grumpiness was not past us yet, and as Renesmee turned away from Jacob I went to his side. "Later," I said, so only he and Bella could hear me.

After the pictures were all gathered away, they left us alone. "We have to get up quite early to catch the plane, and you have had a long day," I said as I stepped to the right and sat down. These emotional tiffs reminded me of Bella's human days, more so when she was trying to figure things out between her and Jacob.

Unlike earlier today at my parents' house, Renesmee didn't stay away from me for too long, and once she was willing, I cradled her in my arms. "Do you want me to put anything special on your MP3 player for the trip tomorrow?"

She shook her head and yawned. "I didn't want to be mad at Jacob."

"I know. That is why I think you need to try and get some sleep. I think if you do, you might find you feel better."

She furrowed her brows, as if deep in thought for a moment before she looked into my eyes with her chocolate brown ones. "Daddy I want you to stay here with me while I sleep."

I toed off my shoes and stood up, pulling the purple covers back before I put her down. She scooted almost against the wall, making room for me as I settled in beside her. At that instant she snuggled against my side, already closing her tired eyes.

"Sing to me."

"What would you like to hear?"

"Momma's lullaby."

I didn't have words to that, so I hummed the tune, gathering my arms around her as I did. My little girl wasn't going to stay this small for long, and I knew I needed to treasure these moments with her.

Even after she fell asleep I stayed with her; though I knew I needed to help Bella get Renesmee's things in order for the trip tomorrow.

At that exact moment, my wife entered the small room with a suitcase. I started to get up, but she just shook her head. "I'm as capable of doing this as you, and our daughter needs you more," she whispered, as she quickly got Renesmee's clothes selected for the trip.

Once she finished, and came back, I was already standing with Renesmee cradled in my arms. I led Bella to our room, and we both snuggled on our bed with our sweet baby girl, listening and watching over her, as she slept.

**~*~*~**~*~*~*~**

**Authors Notes: **_Thank you for taking the time to read this. I just wanted to clarify that when Renesmee talks she doesn't always say things in an adult maner. That might not be the right way to do things, but I like to think that she still has things she needs to learn before she grows up into a young lady. If you would be so kind, please please submit a review. I really do want to know how you guys feel about this. Thanks again for reading my story._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Delays**

All of the rainy weather, which was going to allow us to travel to Hanover during the day time hours, had pushed through during the night. By the time morning arrived, I had once again changed my family's flight plans.

I was on the phone with the airlines again, when my daughter came out of our room rubbing her eyes. She climbed on the ottoman next to me. Gently, I pulled her against my left side, kissing her head before the airline attendant took me off hold. I listened as she told me the final details of my family's flight plans.

"Thank you for helping me take care of this," I told the woman, when the details were finally ironed out.

I could tell by her breathing that I was, as Bella put it, dazzling her.

It took the young woman a moment to answer me. "I was happy to assist you Mister Cullen, please feel free to call me… us, the next time you need anything."

I managed to keep composed, though when the call ended, I chuckled.

Renesmee looked up at me.

"Good Morning," I said, as I kissed her nose.

"Daddy, why did you laugh?"

"I rendered our airline attendant speechless."

Renesmee puckered her lips and drew in her eye brows, as she considered what I was saying. "Why did you scare her?" She finally asked, not realizing what my words meant.

As hard as I was trying, I couldn't help but laugh, not because I wasn't taking Renesmee's question seriously, but it was the look she had given me right then. I cradled her in my arms, playfully nibbling at her neck as she began to laugh too.

"I gotta breathe Daddy," she gasped.

Once she had caught her breath, Renesmee reached up and hugged around my neck. "Daddy, it's light outside, and you said we were going to be on the plane early in the morning."

"I did say that, but the rainy weather we were supposed to have during our flight today moved out into the Atlantic Ocean."

"Are we staying here?" Renesmee glanced up at me, a hopeful expression on her face.

"No, we are going to leave this evening, and travel while you sleep."

"But I won't see anything if it's dark," she sadly whined.

I hugged her. "It will be dusk, which means you will be able to see some of our journey."

A pout formed on her lips a moment before she looked away from me. "I want to stay awake all night long."

Letting her stay awake was not an option. We had already seen the result of that, thanks to Jacob. One of the few nights she stayed with him, she talked him into letting her stay awake, and when we came to get her, that next day, she was very uncooperative and grumpy.

I didn't want to start the day arguing with her, and was about to change the subject, when Bella arrived from her hunt with Rose and Alice.

The moment our daughter saw Bella, she was off of the sofa and into my wife's arms in a second.

"Momma, I want to go see Grandpa Charlie."

The two of them hugged and snuggled, as I sat watching them with great fondness.

It has amazed me how quickly Bella and I have transitioned into becoming parents, though admittedly Renesmee makes it easy, at least most of the time.

"Well, if we are going to see him, then you need to go find something else to wear. It's too wet for you to go out in your night gown."

Once she was on her feet, Renesmee hurried to her room, leaving Bella and I a little time together before they left.

My wife came and sat next to me. _My wife_, I thought. I really liked saying thinking that word. "How was your hunt?"

She leaned against my right side. "It was alright, but not the same without you there by my side," she whispered. I knew she still felt sad and guilty about leaving Charlie here.

"Sue will watch over him, and he has Billy, and most of the pack as well," I said, in effort to make her feel better.

There was just a breath of silence, and then, "I know he will be safe, I just really wish he could watch Renesmee grow up with us."

I wrapped my arms around Bella and turned, kissing her briefly before our daughter walked in wearing a red velvet dress, turned the wrong way. Bella walked over to her and knelt down ready to help, but Renesmee seemed determined to fix it on her own.

One of the other lessons I've learned since becoming a father, is to be patient. Renesmee, for the most part doesn't argue with us, though she has started to develop a stronger will, and as a result we have been learning to try and give her more choices.

"Momma, I want to do it by myself," Renesmee whined, as Bella tried to help her turn the dress around.

My wife has a more difficult time being patient with her, and I was ready to assist, but Renesmee agreed to find something she could dress in, on her own.

"She's getting so independent," Bella whispered, in a low voice that only I could hear.

I stood up and kissed my wife, finding us falling against the ottoman across from the fire place, as we both got carried away.

"Momma, Daddy, that's icky," Renesmee called out to us, before we could get too carried away.

We quickly composed ourselves, as our little whirlwind came, and pulled at Bella's hand, obviously ready to go see her Grandpa.

"Come on Momma, I need to go see him," she was saying, as Bella kissed me again.

Before I could hug her, Renesmee was in between us, doing her best to push us apart. Quickly I reached down and lifted my little girl up, tossing her a little above my head before I caught and hugged her. "You need to be patient."

"I need to see Grandpa," she answered, in a very matter of fact tone.

After she crawled onto my back, and Bella was ready, we ran to the big house. I put Renesmee in her safety seat, and kissed her, along with my wife before they left. From inside, I could hear Emmett cursing at the TV, and decided to see who was losing.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

The moment I pulled Edward's Volvo up against the curve at Charlie's house, my father was out the door ready to help me with Renesmee. I focused on moving at human speed to get out of the car, and smiled as Charlie lifted my baby from her seat.

"Nessie, you get more beautiful every time I see you."

She smiled at Charlie and rested her head against his shoulder, as I moved beside them.

Charlie put his arm around me, and we headed inside. Once we were settled in his living room, he sat down and put Renesmee on her feet, expertly taking her coat off, before he dumped out her favorite puzzle. For a few minutes he helped her, and I took that time to sit down and watch them, trying not to think about what I was going to tell my dad.

"You're awfully quiet," Charlie observed, as he sat down at my side, while Renesmee worked on her puzzle. He usually left me alone, knowing how I liked my quiet, reflective moments, because he also liked that time for himself.

I had learned, since becoming a vampire, how not to delay things. I had a purpose here, and we really didn't have long to stay. I hoped if I got this out in the open, that we could work through it, and could have a nice visit before my daughter and I had to leave. "Dad, I want to go on and attend Dartmouth. We are heading there this evening to get things set up." As hard as I tried I couldn't go on, nor could I look at my daughter, or Charlie.

His arm moving around me caught me off guard, but I was grateful as I leaned into him, careful not to cause him injury. Charlie had never asked why I didn't feel the same when he hugged me, and it didn't seem to bother him now, which made it harder.

"So, what you are trying to tell me is that you are moving?"

I nodded, unable to look or talk to him.

"Does this have anything to do with Nessie?"

That was when I looked at him. Charlie didn't look angry, but a little sad.

How could I lie to him, when all I wanted to do was shout out the truth, that I was a vampire and that his granddaughter was half that, as well as human.

Thoughts of my family flooded my mind, along with the Volturi, and I took in a breath, even though I really didn't need it.

I looked at Renesmee, who was still putting her puzzle together. She was already aware that she wasn't the same as one of us, human, vampire or werewolf, and had already heard his question. I had to protect her fragile emotions. "No, I really do want to go to school. You already know that she is special," I whispered, hoping that my little girl was no longer listening.

He looked away from me at Renesmee, and then back, seeming to understand that he really couldn't keep that part of the conversation going. "Will you be coming back?"

"We're only going to be gone for the week. We need to get the new house ready, and make arrangements to get the furniture moved in."

Just as Charlie was about to say more, Renesmee appeared in front of him a little too fast, but he didn't seem to notice. She took his hand and he followed her back to the puzzle.

Watching the two of them caused me realize how much my father really enjoyed being with her. When I was that age, his time spent with me was very limited. I was really too young to stay with him for an entire summer.

Charlie had been coming to visit us for six months since Jacob gone to him that one day, and I could see how attached Charlie was to my daughter, how both of them were to one another.

"Dad, do you mind watching her? I need to go into town and get a few things for the trip."

"Sure thing," he answered, not looking away. "Hey Nessie, where does this one go?" he asked, handing her a puzzle piece.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Once I was out the door, I quickly went to the car and got in. I drove down the street and around the corner before I had to stop. As a vampire, I found that my senses prepared me for almost any situation. I was better able to understand, how during my human years, Edward was able to drive at what I then considered insanely fast speeds when we were together in his car. I could have continued driving, but I needed to stop.

Even though there were no tears, I cried without them. My door opened and Edward was there to hold me. "Please," I said, as he stood me up, and wrapped his arms around me. I pressed my face into his chest, breathing in his scent.

"Bella," was his whispered reply, as he held on to me.

I knew why we couldn't tell Charlie, but it didn't make it any easier. "He's so attached to her. He even got her out of her seat without any trouble today," I mumbled against Edward's chest.

"I know how you feel," he whispered.

That caught me a little off guard, and I pulled away and looked up at my husband's face. I suppose he did know. For so long, when I was a human, he struggled with keeping me safe. Edward even left me, thinking that it for the best. That of coarse had turned out to be a horrible mistake and nearly cost him his life and me as well, but with Charlie it was different. While I knew my father would be sad to see us go, he would go on. He had for seventeen years before I moved in with him, but I still felt bad.

Once I was more composed, I went around the other side and got in the passenger seat, more than happy to let Edward drive. I really didn't have anything I needed for the trip, and was glad to have this time with Edward, time enough to compose myself before I got back to my father and little girl.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

With very little help from me, my granddaughter finished the puzzle we were working, practically on her own. Now, as she stood at her little oven pretending to make me a burger, I thought about what Bella had said.

My life, and the way I viewed everything changed the day Jacob, my best friend's son, arrived at my house asking me to take a walk with him. I thought he had lost his mind as he stripped in front of me, and started to turn away from him, when in less than a second, a giant wolf was standing in front of me. I stood in shock as I watched the wolf change back into the boy I thought I had known.

That was the same day I got to see my daughter, learning that she was alive and very different. I'm perfectly aware that somehow Renesmee is her child with her husband Edward, but I've never really been able to figure that out, and I really don't want to know.

A small, plastic, pink plate set on my lap drew me back to the present. I took the hamburger in my hands and pretended to munch at it as Nessie smiled, looking very pleased, before she went back to her little oven.

Sometimes she says and does things that are beyond her age. I try not to think about that too much either. She isn't even a year old yet, and she looks like Bella did when she was two. Sometimes Nessie talks, and I've realized that she is probably more capable of speech than she lets on. I want to tell her she can be herself around me, but I'm a little afraid to. If she acts normal, will I ever get to see her again, and for that matter my daughter?

The door opening caught our attention, and a moment later Bella stepped in. I smiled as Nessie toddled to her for a hug. "How did the shopping go?"

"Good. It always helps to know just what you need," Bella said, as she sat next to me. Her voice, since coming back from South America, is different, as is the color of her eyes. Bella said she got contacts, but I don't believe her. I try not to think about it too much, like with Nessie, the more I let on that I know, the more I worry that they won't come back from Hanover.

When Nessie reached for me, I lifted her up and sat back against the sofa, letting her rest against me. We were all quiet and I relaxed a little more when Bella took the remote, and turned on the TV to ESPN.

An hour later they were ready to go. Nessie had fallen asleep, and I carried her to the car, handing her to Bella who was more capable of getting her into her safety seat, without waking her.

Once the door was shut my little girl turned, and I pulled her in for a hug. "Don't you be a stranger, and don't worry about me. I know something is different, but I can handle it. So if that is why you are leaving me, then I want you to know that there isn't a need." I finally said it, and Bella held on to me a little longer, as I did her.

"I really do want to go to college," she finally said, as she looked at me. Bella looked like she meant it, and I leaned in, kissing her cheek, which was stone cold. I had learned not to really notice it. Jacob said that Bella was more like Esme, and the fact that my daughter was safe was more important to me than the changes I saw and felt.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Alice had alerted me that Bella would be home soon, and what Charlie had told her. We didn't have long before we needed to get our things and head to the airport. Through Alice's vision I knew Bella needed more time with just me. Rose and Emmett agreed to keep Renesmee with them, and when Bella pulled my car into the garage I opened the door, lifted her into my arms, and left at a fast paced run.

Minutes later we were sitting in the top of one of the great trees lining the forest in back of my parents' house. Bella was nestled with her back against my chest, as we sat on a thick branch.

"He said the changes don't matter, but I know we have to leave," she finally admitted.

"Perhaps someday we can come back, or he can come visit us. Charlie is a strong man, much more so than before you started your new life with me." I didn't want Charlie to miss watching Renesmee grow up. Bella was correct about Charlie and our daughter having a strong bond, and for that reason I knew that Renesmee would have a difficult time adjusting to her new life without seeing him, and for that matter Jacob.

"I suppose it's time for us to get back," Bella whispered, noticing as I did that the light of the day was beginning to dim.

I wrapped my arms around her, leaning with my back against the trunk of the tree. "We have a little time," I told her.

Today I realized that without my family to help, Bella and I wouldn't get much time for just the two of us. We would be handling all of the responsibilities that come with taking care of our daughter, on our own. During the day, we likely wouldn't get as much time alone, and at night we wouldn't be able to be as noisy as we are here, when Renesmee stays at the big house with the rest of our family.

"If we have time, I know how I want to spend it," Bella whispered seductively, as she tilted her head up.

I kissed her briefly before she moved away, and we jumped down the branches until we were on the ground, running for our cottage.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

By the time we were seated on the plane, Renesmee had calmed down a little, and was on my lap eating Doritos while we waited for the attendants to prepare the plane for take off. We already had her dressed in a pair of long pajamas, which were light weight, but comfortable.

Renesmee reached up and put her hand on my neck, showing me an image she had seen of a plane flying on TV. "They have to get all of the luggage put underneath where we are sitting," I whispered, as I reached out and held Edwards hand.

We had chosen first class, hoping that with a larger seating area, and fewer people, Renesmee would fall asleep eventually. At the moment, she seemed too keyed up to even consider resting.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to flight 223, with non stop flight to Manchester, New Hampshire. At this time we ask that all seats be returned to their upright positions and all tray tables be securely latched in front of you."

While the attendant talked, Renesmee paid close attention, leaning back against me in anticipation of our plane ride. I couldn't tell if she was afraid or not, but when Edward reached for her I got my answer. This was all new to her, and I watched as she clung to him, hiding her face against his neck.

I let go of Edward's hand, and pressed it against Renesmee's back as the plane began to move. His whispered voice seemed to comfort her, but our daughter didn't move away from him.

When the plane sped up to take off, Renesmee cried softly. Suddenly I wished we would have thought to prepare her more for this, but really there were no words to help her understand what it was like to fly on a plane.

It didn't take long for us to begin to level out, and it was still light enough to look out the window. "Renesmee, do you want to look outside?"

Hesitantly, she lifted her head away from Edward's shoulder. A big tear was moving down her cheek, and I reached out and wiped it away as she leaned toward me. Once she was on my lap, she peered out the window relaxing further, touching my cheek, as she showed me what she was seeing.

"Is your daughter alright, I noticed that she was crying," a young woman said. I turned to look at her, keeping my breath held as Edward explained that this was our little girl's first time on a plane. I had remarkable control being around other humans, and being very new to this life, but on a plane it was different, and I quickly learned that the thirst was harder to ignore in a small space.

Once the attendant was gone, Renesmee was ready for more Doritos. She ate a few, yawning and when Edward handed me Hansel and Gretel, our baby seemed to forget where she was, as we got into the story.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

By the time I pulled our rental up to the new house, the sun was beginning to rise. I wasn't tired, but I was certainly happy that our long night of travel was finally coming to an end. I looked in the rearview mirror finding that Renesmee was still awake, looking out the window as Bella reached out to unbuckle her. She had slept most of the time on the plane, but had been awake for the two hour drive here.

As I got out of the car, Bella was already standing beside it with Renesmee. I grinned as I hurried to the house, getting the door open just before she walked past me. Bella smirked, and I smiled, as I followed from behind.

"I want to stay awake," Renesmee whispered.

"Not right now. You had a long night, and you are going back to bed," Bella said sternly, as we walked through the foyer and up the stairs to the second story floor.

"Daddy, I'm a lady," Renesmee informed me, letting me know that my presence was not welcome, while she was doing her business in the bathroom.

I stood against the wall not sure what to think about that. She was constantly amazing all of us with her maturity at times, and this wasn't any different.

"But I want to stay awake," I heard Renesmee shriek, realizing why she wanted me to stay away.

"Do you need a hand?"

"Yes," Bella answered, sounding flustered.

Inside, I found that Renesmee had attached herself around the piping, going from the floor to the ornate porcelain sink across from me.

I took two steps and knelt behind her. "I'll count to three, and I expect you to let go in that time, or you will spend the morning in your room. One…" I didn't have to count any further, as my baby turned, and came into my arms.

"Tell Momma you are sorry for yelling at her."

I felt her head shake. She was most likely embarrassed that I had come in to get her, but that didn't sway me. "Right now," I said firmly.

She sniffed and lifted her head. "Sorry Momma."

By then Bella was next to us, and they hugged before I got our little monkey to use the toilet.

Renesmee was able to do that on her own, because there was a stool she could stand on to reach her goal.

I did turn away as she did her business, but once she was finished and back in my arms, I carried her to her room. The walls were painted light purple and the western wall had a bay window for her to see out of. Her bed was against the back wall, and I leaned down, laying her on the soft mattress. "Is it nice to yell?"

"No Daddy, I'm sorry."

I kissed her, and moved away letting Bella have her turn. Once Renesmee had her hugs and kisses, we tucked her in, and on the way out I pulled the blinds down on her window.

Down the hall, across from our baby's room, was our own. It was much bigger than the one at the cottage. On the far wall, a few feet from the bed, was a fireplace. I made quick work of lighting it, liking the glow of the fire or a candle much more than natural light during our romantic moments. Once the fire was going, I moved back and sat on the red velvet love seat that Alice had helped pick out, next to the woman who was my love, my life.

"I'm so glad we are finally here. I was getting thirsty," Bella admitted.

"Do you want to go hunt, we can keep close to the house."

Her head shook, and I put my arm around her. "What do you want to do now?"

When she quickly turned, and was on my lap straddling me, I got my answer.

I reached up and cupped the back of her head, pulling her down with me as I leaned to the side. It was at that moment that I wished for a bigger sofa, and was barely aware of our sleeping child, just down the hall.

None of that mattered as I felt my shirt rip, and I knew by the end of the week Bella and I would have to go shopping for more clothes, if we were not careful.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Authors Notes**:_ I realize that Renesmee has more moments than what we saw in the books. I'm honestly trying not to make her into a brat, but I do feel that she would try out her wings, meaning that she isn't always going to do what they want. So basically I'm trying to round out her good side with her not so good side. I hope you all like what I've written so far. I'm trying really hard to stay in character as much as I can. Another thing Is the evolution of their relationships..okay I'm not going to get into reason's here. I just hope you all enjoy what I have planned. Please feel free to review, and thanks for reading._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Wander Away**

The first two days of our stay in our new house were the most peaceful. Edward and I spent our days with our daughter, and I found that while I missed our extended family, I liked that it was only the three of us.

"Momma?" I turned from looking out of the large kitchen window, to find my little girl walking sleepily toward me. It was still pretty early in the morning, and I was surprised to see her.

When I held out my arms she leaped into them and we cuddled. "Do you know what we get to do today?"

I felt her head shake once against my shoulder and smiled, walking up the stairs as I began to tell her. "Today our furniture will get here and we can make this place look more like a house."

At my words, she lifted her head. "Will Jacob come too?"

Renesmee hadn't brought up his name since we moved and I was surprised, though I really didn't know why. Jacob was her best friend, and at times there didn't seem to be much of an age difference between them. "No baby, not this time."

In my daughter's room I sat on her bed, gently rocking her. Bringing up Jacob had put my own mind at work, thinking about Charlie. I was already missing him, and toyed with the idea of suggesting to the Chief, that he move here with us. Of course I knew he wouldn't leave. He was comfortable in Forks, but still the idea was tempting.

Renesmee's head nearly sliding of my shoulder brought me out of my thoughts. Gently I put my hand up to support her, turning slightly as I leaned down, laying her on the mattress.

Edward was already at our side, and as I stood up I watched while he tucked our baby's comforter around her.

Once we had kissed Renesmee, I took his hand and led the way out of her room. "How did the hunting go?"

"I had to travel several miles, but I did manage to find a black bear." He smiled. "Emmett would have been proud."

That caused me to smile as well. Emmett loved hunting bears, and more specifically tormenting them nearly to death before he went in for the kill. I looked at my husband's shirt seeing that it was spotless.

"Do I pass your inspection Mrs. Cullen?"

I reached out and brushed my hand against his blue shirt. "I think so. You know, I still don't think it's fair that you can hunt and come back without a spot of blood on you."

As a newborn I was still advanced in my years, but I had yet to figure out how to keep my clothes as spotless as Edward's

My husband's hands against my cheeks, turning my head up to look at him, took away any other thoughts I was having. When his lips crushed down against my own, I didn't care about how either of us looked in that moment.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

There are very many moving men in my house. Momma said I needed to be good and stay out of their way, and she helped me get a blanket to put out in our back yard. I brought Jack with me, and my favorite puzzle. It has horses on it with horns. Daddy says they are unicorns.

"Jack, do you suppose we should go and look for a unicorn?"

Jack's been helping me. But he didn't want to talk today. "Jack, it is not polite to be so quiet." I picked him up and hugged him. "I know you miss Jacob, I do too, but Momma says we get to see him in four more days." I held up my hand and showed him four fingers. "See?"

Sometimes I wish he could talk. There is a movie I saw with Claire, when I was with my Jacob, and it was about a girl who lived with really mean people. She got a Faery Godmother to give her a wish. If I had one of those, I would wish that Jack could talk.

I looked at the house and listened. Daddy was talking to the moving man and Momma was in my room putting other sheets on my bed. It was crazy around in the house, and I decided we should go venture. I get to do that in Forks.

I got my purple back pack and put Jack in side and zipped it, but kept it so he could see. After I got it on, all by myself, I ran into the woods. I can run very fast, but not like Momma and Daddy can. We stayed on the path because there are too many big things, and I'm very small.

"Jack, do you know how to talk so that we can call for the unicorns to come?" I sighed. "I don't know either."

We ran and ran, but I got a little tired so we stopped, and I found a big rock to sit on. "Unicorns, I want to see you," I yelled. I didn't yell really loud, because I didn't want them to be scared of me.

When I didn't feel tired, I got up and stood on top of my rock. "We need to go in the woods but I'm scared Jack." I didn't want to be afraid, but it wasn't my woods like at Grandma and Grandpa's big house.

"Will you be brave for us?"

He said he would, so I decided we should just go, and so we did.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

I never really knew what went into having other people move you into a house. Edward was comfortable with telling our movers where to put things, and I was comfortable with letting him delegate that work. When my mom moved away from Forks I was too young to remember any of that, and by the time I was old enough, we were living in Phoenix. We never moved away from there until I went to live with Charlie, and she and Phil went on the road.

Once I finished cleaning Renesmee's room, which consisted of picking up and putting away all the puzzles she had worked, I decided I needed to check on her, realizing guiltily that I hadn't in over an hour.

Downstairs I found the front door blocked by Edward's piano, and was surprised to see it here. He was helping to take the door off of its hinges. "Are your parents already packing up?"

"Not really, but Carlisle thought it might be nice to have a few things here to make Renesmee feel more at home," he answered, as he finished helping one of our movers set the door off to the side.

We shared a kiss before I headed out into the overcast, gloomy day. I expected to find our baby where I had left her, so when I didn't, all of my vampire senses went into over drive. When I sniffed the air, I followed her scent to the edge of the forest. "Crap." I looked once back at the house before I tore into the woods, following my daughter's scent, praying that she was safe.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"You're not much bigger than I am," I said to the little bear, who was sitting on the ground in front of me. "Where did your Momma go?"

Little Bear didn't say anything to me, and I reached out, petting his ear. I think he liked that because he rubbed it against me and I laughed. "You are very funny and very cute. Uncle Emmett hunts big bears, but I promise to tell him that he has to leave you alone."

I don't like big bears. They are very scary, but this baby bear was really friendly. "I'm trying to find unicorns. Do you want to come with me? Come on."

I backed up and my new friend stood up. He was just a little taller than me. "Come on." I backed up a bit more, and he got on all his feet and came with me. "Do you know where we can find the unicorns?"

We were going up a very big hill, and it was hard to do, but I wanted to find my unicorns so I decided we should keep going.

Little Bear made a growling noise, but it didn't sound mean. I turned around and he wasn't there. "Little Bear, I thought you were going to help me." I was all by myself now and I reached back to get Jack but I forgot, and then I thought about it, and he was lost too. "Oh no Jack, where did I put you?"

I ran down the hill and that's when the ground moved and I fell down. I rolled a little bit but I got back up. "Jack, you can't be lost." I turned all around but everything was the same. "Jack, come back, I promise never ever putting you down again."

The only thing I heard was rain, but I didn't feel it because it was still high up, and the trees were keeping it away. "No, I'm not going to get sad." I sniffed the air but all I spelled was wet, dirt, trees, and some animals, but not Jack.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Never in my life had I been so afraid. I lost Renesmee's scent five miles west of the house. Staying where I was, I pushed my shield completely away from my body, focusing on my thoughts, praying Edward would hear them and come. I didn't have the luxury of going back to get him, and I wished I would have brought the phone.

"Bella?" A second later he was at my side. Edward stood perfectly still, shutting his eyes, and then he was gone.

My guilt for losing Renesmee kept me rooted in place. I knew I needed to go with him, but I couldn't move. Being here wasn't like being in Forks, and I remembered what I had thought last night about not having the other members of our family around. How could I have even believed for one second that we could do this on our own?

I was so drawn in on my own thoughts, that I didn't notice time passing, or much of anything until a twig snapped somewhere off in the distance. I crouched low, sniffing the air. Suddenly I was running at top speeds and met Edward only a mile away. He held our sleeping daughter in his arms, and I realized then that it was dark.

My husband started to put Renesmee in my arms, but I shook my head, not trusting myself to hold her. I wasn't going to hurt her, but it had been my lack of observation that had got us into this mess in the first place.

Edward ran ahead of me, leading the way, and by the time we got back to the house, the movers had gone and everything was more or less in place. While Edward headed upstairs to put Renesmee to bed, I walked into the front room and sat down on the new black, leather sofa. I rested my head in my hands with my eyes shut, and didn't acknowledge my husband as he sat at my side.

"Please talk to me."

I looked over at him, and a moment later his arms were wrapped around me. "Bella, you can't blame yourself. We should have told her she couldn't wander around all alone."

"We are vampires Edward, we should have been able to hear her leaving, and yet we were too busy fixing this place up, too self absorbed. We're lucky that Caius didn't send someone to take her. I thought I could handle this, moving away, doing the mom thing alone, but it's clear that I'm just capable of screwing it all up. At this point, Renesmee will likely land in therapy."

"Stop that!"

I looked up at him and saw the furry in his eyes.

Edward quickly calmed himself and kissed my forehead. "Bella, this is our first child and what parent hasn't made mistakes. Yes we are vampires, but that doesn't exclude us from making the wrong choices. No one expects us to be perfect, and yes, we should have been listening to her, but she's safe now, and we will be careful the next time."

Yeah, we would be careful and I was never going to let Renesmee out of my site again. I still felt awful.

"Come on, you didn't even hold her when I brought her back." I let him guide me through the hallway to the Foyer, and up the stairs. At her door, he stopped.

I guess Edward was right, I did need to see her and forgive myself, but before I did I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you for being so level headed."

Edward kissed my lips before we parted, and I went in to our daughter's room.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Renesmee lay in the center of her bed with all the covers kicked off. She was curled into a ball, hugging Jack against her chest as she slept.

I toed off my shoes and curled up next to her. "I'm sorry for losing you today baby," I whispered, as I stroked my fingers through her soft curls. "Daddy and I got all wrapped up with everything, when we should have been thinking about you."

My baby continued to sleep, though at one point she rolled over cuddling into my arms. I took that opportunity to place her hand on my cheek, and shut my eyes as I watched her dream. The images were blurry, and then crystal clear as I saw a bear, not much bigger than her. It seemed as though my baby had made a new friend, and I was impressed that she hadn't killed him. I wondered what had caused her to wander off on her own.

The dream went back to mostly being colors and fuzzy shapes, but I continued to watch them with her, relieved to have my baby in my arms. "Tomorrow, we are going to talk about sticking around here my little wanderer." I leaned my head forward, kissing Renesmee's soft curls before I carefully moved away from her, and stood back on my feet. I took a soft blanket from the end of her bed and put that over her. Once I was satisfied that Renesmee was comfortable, I headed to my own room, where I knew Edward was waiting.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

When my eyes opened, I was in my room and not in the leaves in the woods. I had Jack again and I smiled. "We got found Jack."

My tummy growled at me because it was hungry, so I got off my bed and walked down the hall to Momma and Daddy's room. The door was open so that was good.

When it isn't open I don't get to go in. Momma and Daddy have private time. Sometimes they make funny noises. I told Uncle Emmett that one time and he fell out of his chair laughing.

"Daddy, how did you find Jack?"

He was sitting at his big desk, but he got up and got down so I could see him.

"Jack wasn't very far away from where I found you. We need to talk about that," he said. Daddy picked me up and we sat down on the big chair that is in front of the fire place.

"Am I in trouble? I just wanted to find a unicorn, and I go in the woods at Grandma and Grandpa's all the time." I didn't want my Daddy to be mad at me.

Daddy hugged me close, rubbing his hand on my back, and I like it when he does that because I feel better. "No, Momma and I never explained to you why you shouldn't wander off on your own. It is very important that you wait for us, from now on Renesmee." Daddy sat me on his lap so we could look at one another, and his eyes were very serious.

"But I didn't get hurt." I kind of liked my venture. It was fun, and I met my Little Bear.

"No, but you did get lost."

Oh yeah, I forgot that part. I wanted to show him Little Bear, so I put my hand on his cheek.

His eyes got very big and I looked down, pulling my hand away.

"You had quite an adventure," Daddy said, and I looked back at him because he wasn't mad at me.

"I named him Little Bear, because he is little. If you see him, or if he has brothers and sisters, will you promise not to drink his blood?"

My Daddy hugged me again, and I hugged him back.

"I promise. Speaking of that, I bet you are ready for a hunt."

"Yes I am, but we have to go another way so we won't hurt them."

Daddy carried me in my room, and Momma was there. We got me all ready to go, and she told me what Daddy said. "I want you to promise not to wander away again."

"I promise Momma."

I got on her back, and we left to go have some breakfast, so my stomach would stop growling.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**AN:** _Hello everyone. I appologise for taking so long to update this. I had a hard time figuring out how to write this chapter, but I think I worked everything out. Renesmee's point of view has a big part here. You might have noticed that when she talks she doesn't always say things correctly but thats a kid for you. Other than that I hope you enjoyed what you read. Sorry it is so short this time around, but I'll update soon. Thanks for reading and if you don't mind please review. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Back to Forks**

Ask anyone in my pack, and they will likely tell you that being around me, since Bella and Edward took Nessie with them to Hanover, isn't much fun. My life had been going great for a while now.

Bella was more or less over the fact that I imprinted on her daughter, not that I really chose too, but it happened and that's life. As for Edward, he's more or less okay with it too. We all get along better, but there are still times when they piss me off, and I guess I manage to piss them off too, but again that's life.

So where does Nessie's absence put me? I kind of feel like I've lost part of myself, and I think a lot about the Bella I knew when Edward wasn't around. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not as bad as she was, but still I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to deal with not seeing Nessie. Lucky for me they will be back tonight, and I'm hoping I can talk them in to letting me keep Ness, if she's not too tired.

Someone knocked once at my door.

"Yeah?"

"Jake, it's me," Seth called out.

"Come in."

As he did I sat up from lying on my bed, and looked at the floor, well the clothes piled on the floor. My dad has been on me about picking up my room, but I really don't feel like doing that. My room has been my hiding spot since Paul and my sister have pretty much taken over the whole house. Every time I come home, they are locked at the lips, and that's getting really annoying.

"You look like crap," Seth commented, coming to stand in front of me.

I really wanted to jump down his throat for saying that, but chose not too. He meant well. "Yeah, I guess that's what happens when the other half of your heart moves across the country."

Seth sat next to me, and I felt like going out my window.

"Look, I know you want to help out and all, but I'm not really in the mood to talk." I left him there, and did climb out the window, taking off for the mansion, wondering why I was doing that.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Standing in the woods, ten feet from the Cullen's front door, I thought about turning around, and going back to hang out with Seth at First Beach. Maybe talking to him would help. It wasn't like I could keep how I felt a secret and my pack pretty much knows everything anyway. I miss Nessie.

Finally I pushed away from the tree I had been leaning against, pulling on an old shirt before I got to their door. As usual it opened before I could knock, and Carlisle greeted me.

"Good evening Jacob."

"Hi, so when are they getting home?"

As he moved aside, I walked into the house. The family, aside from Blondie, doesn't mind my visits. They are all still iffy about the imprinting thing with Ness, but for the most part they have dealt with that better than I could have imagined.

"Emmett and Rosalie left to get them an hour ago. They should be back any time now."

I nodded and sat down on the sofa just as Alice arrived by my side. When I looked up, I found her frowning at me. "Oh come on, what am I blocking out this time?"

"I was trying to predict the score on the game for Jasper," she answered.

"Fine," I grumbled, not really hurt by having to move. I hadn't noticed them sitting on the other sofa, and figured out that I was more bugged about Nessie being gone than I realized.

I stood by the door, watching the game from there until I heard a car pull up. It was dark by then, and I made it to the back, passenger side door before any of them got out.

I figured Nessie would be clawing at the door, ready to see me the way she had reacted at leaving a week ago. But when Edward opened it, and I reached for her, she hung on to him and hid her face against his neck.

When he got out, Nessie didn't let up, and I wondered why she was so grumpy. "Tired?"

"I am not," Nessie mumbled softly from against his neck.

Bella came around and stood beside them, nodding once in answer to my earlier question, and Blondie brushed past me, tossing her head to the left as Emmett took her hand. I wanted to rip her hair out, which is what I usually want to do when I'm around her, but I let it go as I walked behind them into the house.

Inside, Edward went upstairs, and I started to follow, but Bella grasped my arm. "Renesmee needs some alone time."

We sat down on the sofa. By then the game was more or less over, but I didn't care. "What did she do?"

"Nothing bad, she's just upset. A lot happened while we were in Hanover."

"Like what?" Suddenly, my thoughts were on that guy that showed up with Alice and Jasper, back when the Volturi were posing a threat. "That half vampire didn't show up did he?"

For a moment Bella looked confused, but then she shook her head. "No, nothing like that."

That was a relief, and I wanted to know more but Bella got up and was gone, up to help with Nessie I guess. So here I was, left to sit with the other vampires, wondering what in the heck was going on.

Emmett turned the TV to another game, and I leaned back watching that, trying not to worry too much about anything until I had too.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

There was no in between for my daughter. We left Forks a week ago with her upset about moving, and now we were back, and she didn't want to be here. I have so much I need to tell Carlisle, and I need to find a way to talk to Nahuel, to ask if any of his sisters have developed her newest gift. It is because of that gift, that she is unhappy.

"Edward?"

Carlisle entered my old room, a look of concern crossing his usual, serene features. "Renesmee met a new friend," I began, as he pulled a chair up next to the bed.

My daughter had fallen asleep against my chest while I lay propped up against her pillows.

"A new friend?"

"It seems as though she has a way to communicate with animals, in this case a baby bear. I hunted and killed his mother, and somehow while she shared her thoughts with this bear, it was in turn, able to show her what I did."

Carlisle was at a loss for words, but it wasn't the first time with regards to Renesmee's abilities. "I'm not sure I understand," he finally admitted as Bella and Esme entered the room.

I needed to tell them the rest, but I wasn't willing to have Renesmee wake up, hearing the story which would upset her again. We needed to move downstairs, but I didn't want to leave her alone, and when Jacob arrived I was relieved to see him. "Do you know?"

He scratched the back of his head, shaking it once. "I promise I'll tell you later, just stay with her."

Once he was seated beside Renesmee's sleeping form, I took my leave, with Bella, Carlisle, and Esme following behind me.

We ended up downstairs, and everyone seemed ready to hear what had taken place. "We lost her one day," I began.

Bella looked down, and I put my arm around her. "We got wrapped up with moving the furniture in, and Renesmee wandered forty miles from the house. When I found her she was asleep in a bed of moss and ferns. The next morning when I told her she couldn't go off by herself, she showed me a memory of a bear she befriended during the time away from us."

Emmett huffed, and I held up my hand. "It was a cub. Evidently I killed its mother. I wasn't aware of that until two days ago when she wandered off again, only this time I followed her. Renesmee has been sharing her kills with this bear, but when I came upon them the little thing took off."

"You said she communicated with it," Carlisle reminded.

"Yes, I was getting to that. After it ran off she was quite angry with me, and I couldn't get her to tell me why. Bella didn't have any luck either, and she was blocking her thoughts." I looked over at Alice, who glanced away from my gaze. My sister had once told Renesmee that the way to keep me from knowing her thoughts was to think about a song or story.

"Once Renesmee had fallen asleep I was able to read what was on her mind, and we shared her dreams. She saw me kill that bear, only it was through the eyes of the cub hiding behind some bushes."

This time Emmett didn't hold back. "Wait, she's seen me kill bears before."

"I know that, but this bear was the mother of her new friend. When Renesmee woke up she told us that when she shares her thoughts with him, he shows her his. It's not as solid and clear as what we see from her, but it's quite amazing."

Esme looked interested and worried, both at the same time.

Everyone else seemed to share her expression, but it was Carlisle who finally broke the silence. "It sounds as though we need to talk to Nahuel." He put his arm around Esme, who spoke for the first time since we got home.

"Is that why she was so upset?"

I nodded. "Renesmee didn't want to leave him alone. We haven't figured out how to handle this new aspect of her abilities. On the one hand I want her to forget about him, it would be better if I put the poor thing out of his misery, but on the other hand if I did that, I'm not sure what she would do."

"Where is it now?" Rosalie asked, concern etching her voice. She seemed to realize the fix Bella and I were in.

"We left it in the woods, but our scent is dominant by the house, and I dragged the carcass of a deer in that parameter. This morning Renesmee made us promise to go back as soon as we could, and to be honest, I wasn't planning on doing that for a few more weeks." I dragged my hand through my hair, feeling the stresses of the day, along with being totally lost in what I was doing, catching up with me.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Even on the third floor of the Cullen's house, I was able to pick up what Edward was saying, and I guessed that was one good thing about the wolf gene. If that's what you wanted to call it.

Nessie hadn't budged once since Edward laid her down, and I rested beside her, glad to have her back.

What he was talking about was the strangest thing I ever heard of, even more than me being a wolf. Maybe it all made sense though. There was that one day when Ness was pretty new. We sat outside holding real still, and a bird landed right next to us. I told her not to say anything or move, and had been impressed that the bird had gotten so close, with her on my lap.

The odds didn't seem to want to play out in my favor as I listened to how upset she had been over having to leave that bear back in Hanover. Here is the part I kind of get, and he'll probably credit me for this one in a second, but it almost seems like she's got the whole imprinting thing only flipped. For Nessie it's maybe something she did because she feels different, like she doesn't belong. So she imprints on this orphan cub, because that's easier than dealing with all of us, heck I don't know.

For a second, I stopped thinking so loud to see if Edward would pick up on those thoughts. He wasn't the one doing the talking, even though the rest of them were. I guess he's pretty worried about her.

"Noo," Nessie shouted, a second before she sat fully upright.

"Hey," I said, hugging her close.

She struggled out of my arms, crawled over me, and hopped to the floor. "No no no," she cried as she ran out of the room. I was behind her in a second, following her to the stairs where Bella was waiting.

That was it, Nessie crumbled to the floor, curling into a ball before she began to cry, and it wasn't just her normal soft cries, she was really upset. I knelt by her side, trying to calm her down, but Nessie was having none of that.

"I…w…want Little Bear," she sobbed as I got down on the floor to lie next to her. Bella and Edward were on her other side along with the rest of them.

"I bet he's okay," I tried, when none of them had any luck at getting her up off the floor. I kind of wanted to get up, because it stunk like vampire, but decided I needed to stay put.

Nessie wasn't crying as loud, so I went on. "I bet he will find little things to hunt, like rabbits and stuff like that."

That didn't help much, but she wasn't crying any harder, or louder. "I need him," she said, while hiccuping, and crying more. The other thing Nessie did was scoot closer to me, and let me put my arm around her. Everyone else left us alone and I was glad.

"What…what if he dies." Nessie was crying less and less, and I pulled her closer while resting on my side.

That wasn't an easy question to answer. I couldn't tell her he wouldn't die, because I didn't know that myself.

"I don't know, he may be fine until you get back."

There was sniffling before, "Daddy killed his Momma."

That was a tough one too. I almost felt vindicated that she was pissed at Edward for something. I was still thinking about the chewing out he gave me when I almost told her they were moving. "Nessie, he didn't know that bear had a cub to take care of."

She turned on her side so I could see her, and several tears were rolling off of her cheeks. I used my thumb and wiped them away. "He could have read her thoughts," Nessie said clearly, as she rubbed her nose with the back of her small hand.

"I don't think his mind reading thing works that way."

"It should," she answered grumpily.

When I hugged her, she didn't try to push away. "Do you want to go to First Beach, if they say yes?"

Instead of talking to me, she put her hand on me cheek, showing me that it was dark outside.

"Okay, we can go to the clearing."

When Nessie didn't move or say anything I stood up, bringing her with me. She snuggled against my chest, resting her cheek against my shoulder as I carried her downstairs.

Edward looked like he was in a crappy mood, but I didn't care. He nodded once when I glanced at the door, and I grabbed her little raincoat, draping it over her as I took off toward the clearing.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

The rain had stopped, and I was sitting on a stone with Nessie snuggled on my lap, while we looked up at the moon. It was a full moon, and a clear night, rare for our area of the world.

"Jacob, is there a man in the moon?"

Sometimes Nessie came up with the most random of thoughts. "Well, sometimes NASA sends a shuttle up into space, but I don't think we have had any moon walks lately."

Nessie tilted her head back against my chest, and I looked down at her as she asked, "What is NASA?"

"Well, they are a group of people, kind of like um… well the group of bad vampires that showed up, only they aren't bad they are good.

Now she was drawing her eyebrows up into a pucker while thinking that one over. "Jacob, I don't understand you sometimes."

I began to laugh, and that was when she scrambled out of my arms. "Nessie, I wasn't laughing at you, just at what you said." I took off after her, and grabbed her before fell into the river.

"Let go, I want to go home."

"Okay, but let me phase first so I can get us across that."

She plopped down on her bottom, in spite of the sodden ground, and I shut my eyes. Maybe I wasn't cut out for trying to watch her on my own. I stripped and phased before Nessie could turn to see me. Once I was in that form, it was up to her to get on my back, and of course she didn't.

I nudged Nessie's back with my nose, but she shrugged away from me.

_Edward, your daughter isn't listening_. I thought. I plopped down beside her, and she scooted away, right into a mud puddle, where she stayed put.

When Edward showed up, Nessie was giving him the cold shoulder too, but he whispered something in her ear that ended her unwillingness to move.

Back across the river I phased and dressed, wondering why I was still here. I went inside, passing Emmett and Blondie as I headed into the kitchen. Esme told me and Seth that the food there was for us to have. So I helped myself to a bowl of chips and salsa, and a root beer, before I went back to watch some TV and unwind, if that was possible.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

I don't think I had ever seen Edward as frustrated with Renesmee until he came back with her. She wasn't crying nor was she angry, but more reserved, seeming to know that daddy wasn't going to allow her to act up as she had all day during the flight back here. Edward got her undressed, and disappeared up the stairs.

A few minutes later, I decided to go check on them. Renesmee was in the tub pouting as Edward lathered her hair with strawberry scented shampoo.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Yes, I left her pants and shirt in the sink. You might want to see if you can get the mud out before Alice has a fit."

Our daughter's violet colored pants were covered in mud, and the little white shirt, with the violet print flowers on it, was also splattered on the edges with the same mess.

While I turned on the faucet, Edward rinsed the soap out of Renesmee's hair before he lifted her from the tub, wrapping a towel around her. As he was standing up, she attached herself to my leg.

"One," he said, folding his arms.

Renesmee gasped, before she ran out past him, and he followed from behind.

I managed to get all of the mud out, and left the outfit hanging over the tub, wanting to try and help my husband. If I was truthful with myself, I would admit that Edward doesn't really need my help. He's really good with our baby, or has gotten better about dealing with her less than pleasant moments.

As I approached Renesmee's room I stopped, hearing them talking.

"I can be mad, but I can't be mean anymore because I'll get in trouble?"

"Yes," Edward answered calmly.

I heard Renesmee sigh, and wondered if she would dare roll her eyes at him. I knew from the sound of her voice that she was frustrated. "No one likes it when I get grumpy," she stated, sounding both resigned and defeated.

I shut my eyes, wondering where the justice was. My daughter was nine months old, with a mind that ranged from four years, to a very advanced seven or eight years of age, at times. Renesmee had the body of a two and a half year old, and if all of that were not enough, she had formed a friendship with something she would have generally had for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. My baby was also trying to deal with this huge change we had thrust on her, and she had a right to act out.

I am such a push over, that if I didn't have Edward; I would let Renesmee get away with everything. My thoughts pulled back to the present when I heard her crying again, and went in to her room. There I found Edward tucking our baby in to bed. He was calm, but I had missed something or maybe not. It past midnight, and she was exhausted.

"I don't want bed," Renesmee sobbed, rolling over to face him.

Calmly, Edward pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm sorry that you are upset, but right now you need to go to bed. Momma and I will come and check on you in a few minutes, but I want you to stay put, do you understand?"

His demand that she stay in bed caused her to cry harder. As she rolled away from him I was ready to snuggle with her, but he grasped my arm. I looked back at Edward, and he shook his head. Reluctantly I left with my husband, though once we were out of earshot, I stopped him. "What did she do?"

When he hugged me, I sighed, resting my head against his chest. "She didn't do anything wrong, but she's still agitated at me for rescuing her from Jacob."

Another words she was overly tired. "Are you sure we don't need to find a shrink for her?" I asked, light heartedly, as he guided me down the stairs. When I heard him chuckle, I smiled a little.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

My Little Bear is all alone, and I have a mean daddy sometimes. I want to run all the way back to our new house, but I would have lots of troubles if I did.

My daddy hears what I'm thinking. He said he would listen, and if I got out of my bed I would have to sit in the yucky chair. Momma says it's my quiet chair. I don't have to use it much, but when I am really mean, I have too.

I really want to get out of my bed and go get Uncle Emmett. I bet he and Aunt Rose would take me back to my bear. "UNCLE EMMETT."

There was just quiet in my room, and the wind blowing just a bit outside. "UNCLE EMMETT, I NEED YOU."

All I heard was the same noises, and I bet Daddy won't let him come and talk to me. _Daddy you are mean. You are mean, very mean, so mean I want my bear, and not you, and not Jacob, and not Momma, and just my bear. I want to get up but you said no, and I want to go home._ Those were my thoughts, but no one came to tell me anything.

"What if I get up?" I asked, wondering if daddy would come get me.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Even though none of us were going upstairs at the current moment, I was very aware of the thoughts my little girl was throwing around. At one point, she told me in her thoughts, several times, how mean I was, but I let that slide by.

What Renesmee wanted was a reaction, and she wasn't going to get one. My baby girl doesn't have an easy life. I can't imagine how fast her mind processes new things, or how her brain works to store in all the information.

When she began to ask what would happen if she got up, I headed back upstairs, prepared to take action if I needed too. In all of my clouded human memories, I don't recall any one moment of my childhood where I challenged my parents the way Renesmee does us.

"What if I get up?"

It was time to put an end to this. I walked into her room, and knelt by her bed. "You are going to close your eyes and go to sleep right now," I said in a very stern tone.

That was all it took to bring her to tears again, and I wanted desperately to hold her in my arms, but I didn't. Instead I turned and pulled the desk chair beside her bed, sitting there with my arms folded against my chest. I was well aware, through her jumbled thoughts, how tired she was. From past experience I knew that I needed to let her calm down by herself before I held her, but I wasn't sure I would be able to follow through with that.

"I want Momma," Renesmee sobbed.

I didn't answer her, knowing that if I did it would only cause more of a fuss. She turned to look at me once before rolling back over, crying harder.

Five minutes, I decided. If in five minutes she hadn't calmed down, I would hold my baby girl. The first minute passed, and her cries were constant. It was very difficult not to comfort her, but I stayed where I was. After the second minute passed, her cries began to taper off. At the three minute mark, she rolled back over with her eyes closed.

"I'm thirsty."

When Bella arrived with Renesmee's favorite purple cup, I was grateful for my wife's insight. It seemed she had anticipated our daughter's needs when I had not. Once I had the cup in hand, she kissed me briefly on the lips before she went back downstairs.

"Here baby." I helped Renesmee sit up, holding my hand against her back as she wobbled unsteadily out of sheer exhaustion.

When the cup was empty, I put it on her little bed side table before settling her against my chest. As I leaned back in the chair, my thoughts drifted to all of those child rearing books I had read since our daughter's birth, and I realized that one fact in all of them might be the key to making Renesmee happier. Bella and I needed to find a way to bring some consistency in to our daughter's life.

I've never been a parent, and never even thought about it. When Renesmee was born and slept through the first night of her life, I thought we had it made. Never had it crossed my mind that my daughter would have such a difficult time with pretty much everything in her life. The guilt I felt at that realization, was almost mind numbing.

My baby's hand on my cheek showing us together, with me humming Bella's lullaby, drew my attention back to her.

I shut my eyes, even though there really wasn't a need for that, and softly hummed. All I could think about as I held Renesmee, while gently running my fingers through her soft brown curls, was to hope that tomorrow would be a better day for her, and for us all.

**~*~*~*~*~**

**AN: **_I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think. Please submit a review. Anonamous Reviews are more than welcome as well. Thanks for stopping by to read_.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Silence**

A gentle breeze brushed past me as I listened to Jacob trying to engage Renesmee in conversation. They were out of site now, riding in his Rabbit toward First Beach, but I could still hear what he was saying. Another breeze blew a few leaves into the house, and I shook my head slightly as I shut the door. A few days had passed by since the silence began, and I found myself wishing that my daughter would have a tantrum, even that was better than what we were dealing with now.

Two comforting arms wrapping around me, pulling me back against his strong form, caught me slightly off guard but I didn't growl. Edward was every bit as worried as I was, and we were already preparing to go back to Hanover, but the weather didn't want to cooperate. "Any progress?"

His breath against my ear distracted me for a moment before he answered. "She says they can get us on an evening flight for tomorrow."

I turned, gazing up at my husband, seeing the lines of worry etching his face. "What if that bear is gone?"

Edward sighed, leaning down until our foreheads were touching. "I've been trying to figure out what we will do in that case. I'm not sure how much more Renesmee can handle." Abruptly he pulled away and was instantly across the room looking out the window. Edward blamed himself for all of this. My husband didn't regret having our daughter, just the circumstances which seemed to complicate her life, especially since she was so young.

I wanted to join him but knew that he wanted to be alone. The one saving grace in all of this was that Edward could read Renesmee's thoughts. Our daughter was depressed, and thought about her new friend often, along with the images of Edward killing the adult bear. Once, before I started this new life, Edward told me that he didn't want to be a monster. I wondered if he saw himself as that monster in light of what was going on with Renesmee.

When I sat down on the sofa, Esme took the seat to my left, wrapping her arm around me. "She will be alright," Esme said with confidence, a feeling I couldn't bring myself to have at this point.

I wanted my daughter to be safe and happy but I was afraid to think about that. "I just hope when we get home, Renesmee will be back to her normal self. Maybe this outing with Jake will help." A mother could hope couldn't she?

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

First Beach, on a sunny day, was a great place to hang out. Nessie had always loved being here, but today she just sat on the blanket I spread out, staring blankly at the waves.

"Do you want to get your feet wet?" I looked to my right hoping she would nod, or even jump up ready to race to the waters edge, but she remained where she was, motionless.

Watching her was like watching Bella that one time, or maybe even me when Nessie had been away. "Come on, tell me what you have going on in that head of yours?" I leaned against her and she sighed but didn't say a word.

Desperately I wanted to find something that would get her talking, and I thought about her new friend again. I had been thinking a lot about that little bear, sort of wondering if maybe Nessie could make a friend here too. If she could, maybe that would help, but then again maybe it was just a one time deal. "We could go find other bears," I tried.

Another sigh and nothing more. Nessie was too little for all of this pain, and I was ready to try anything. Once on my feet I reached down, lifting her up, holding her against my hip as I walked toward the water. The first rush over my feet was cold, but not unpleasant. "Get ready," I said.

When I leaned over and the water ran over her feet, I thought maybe she would laugh and try to get me wet. Instead Nessie did something I rather hoped she wouldn't, she started to cry. As I carried her back to the blanket I felt helpless. "Shh, do you want me to take you to your dad?"

One nod was the answer I got while she continued to cry softly against my neck. I leaned down to get the blanket, but it was pulled away from me. Leah was the last person I thought I would see, and she looked as worried as I felt.

"I'm an idiot," I mumbled shifting Nessie against my left side. Before Leah could answer, Nessie shook her head once, not agreeing with what I had said, but continued to cry.

In the parking lot I leaned into the back of the car, ready to put Ness in her seat, but she clung to me shaking her head back and forth. "I can't drive and hold you," I tried.

"You could let me," Leah offered.

This was definitely unexpected but I would figure out her motives, if she had any, later. "Just drive carefully." Once I was in the front passenger seat with Nessie on my lap, she began to calm down. I wiped the tears from her cheeks, kissing the top of her head as Leah pulled out of the parking lot.

"So what brought all of this on?" We were on the main road heading toward the Cullen's, and Nessie had drifted to sleep.

Leah shifted uncomfortably in the seat. "Nothing, just thought maybe you wanted some help," she finally said.

I glanced at her, but Leah was concentrating, watching the road in front of her. It didn't matter, when we ran patrol later tonight, I would know what she was thinking.

"Are you going with them?" Ahh, maybe this was the point of her helping.

"I've been seriously considering. I know we have our obligations here, but Sam and his pack can take care of things now." It was more complicated than that, because Quil, now part of my pack, would be facing what I was. Claire lived here with her family and I couldn't see them moving, not for the Cullens, even though most of the bitterness between the tribe and them was gone. "So if I go, you want to come along?"

"We talked about that a long time ago," she pointed out.

That was true, back in the days before Sam and I worked out our differences regarding Bella and Nessie, I had thought about going solo again, and Leah had asked to come along. "You can do what you want." It was too hard to try and figure this out when my mind was on Nessie, worrying about how all of this change was ultimately going to affect her.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Finding out that Renesmee had gotten upset at the beach didn't improve my mood. I knew it wasn't Jacob's fault. Like the rest of us he was doing all he could to try and help her cope. Once she was tucked into her bed I knelt down, watching her sleep. I took my baby's small hand and rested it on my cheek finding blurred images of the beach in her memories. It seemed she had liked being there until Jacob tried getting her wet. "One more day, and we will go home," I whispered, while leaning in to kiss her soft cheek.

My original plan was to stay here and help Carlisle and Esme get things sorted for the move, but now my focus was on my immediate family and Renesmee. When Bella asked about that damned bear, I wanted to run cross country and kill it. I know that wouldn't help matters, but it seemed to be the cause, no that's not true.

Reality came crashing down and I sank to the floor, grasping my hair. Reality? I was selfish. There are no regrets for me on having a wife that I love and a daughter that I would die for, but at what cost? We gave Renesmee life, our love created her but she has been thrust into one situation after another. My daughter ages quickly and she can't be a normal child.

"Edward?"

As Esme sat down at my side I didn't move. "How do I allow her to go through this, when all I want to do is shield her from this pain?"

"That is being a parent."

I looked at Esme, my mother in this life, and saw the wisdom in her eyes mixed with the sadness. Perhaps she knew what this was like, and I thought back to the times I caused her to worry. "You know how this feels." It was a statement more so than a question.

"When you came to us that night, telling us that we had to leave Bella behind, there was such pain apparent in your eyes. You were doing what you thought was best, being selfless. After you had gone I talked with Carlisle, asking him the same thing, how do we allow you to go through such pain? The pain is part of life as you well know, but it's never easy, especially when your own child is the one doing the hurting."

All I could do was hug her, drawing comfort from her arms as I hoped my daughter would do when she was ready. "I never thought being a father would be this trying."

Esme chuckled once and I pulled away, looking at her. "You don't know that until after you are a parent, how hard it really is at times."

After she had gone I got on my knees, gazing down at my baby girl. Renesmee was relaxed in her sleep, and I hoped her dreams were happy, that fate, would at the very least, give her peace.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**AN:** _Hello everyone. I'm sorry this is such a short post but I want it to stand alone as is. I promise there will be more action and have a great deal in store regarding Renesmee and her new friend along with everything else, just be patient with me and hopefully you will like what is to come. Thank you all for reading the story and sticking with me thus far. _

_**Another AN** My update for chapter 8 might take a while. I have an idea of where I want it to go but I don't want to rush it because I'm having alot of fun with this so I'm sorry in advance if thsi next update takes a little longer than normal. Again thanks to all of you who are sticking by to read this story.  
_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Finality**

Seated on the floor in the front room of the cabin, I was busily packing books away into several boxes for the movers to take with them. Edward told me that they could do the packing, but most of my books were so tattered I was afraid of letting anyone else handle them.

This was it, today was our last day in Forks, at least for a long while. When I came here an hour ago I thought I was ready for this change, but now all of it seemed wrong, or maybe it was right. One thing I'd learned over the past nine and a half months was that the choices I made were no longer just about me. My husband and my daughter were now a part of my life, which meant making the changes necessary to keep my family safe, however difficult they were to face.

My mind drifted to last night and how often our baby woke up crying. Her thoughts were too sleepy and jumbled for Edward to read, and we both struggled to calm her down. When I left the large house she was still sleeping, cuddled against Edwards chest as he rested in her bed.

This evening we would be taking a plane back across the country, and I found myself wishing that I could make time slow down. Now that I had eternity ahead of me with the man I loved and our family, it seemed like the days and weeks blurred together. It was still difficult to wrap my mind around forever.

"Here let me help with that," Jacob offered as he entered the cabin.

I had been so focused on my thoughts that he had been able to sneak up on me. My muscles had tensed as soon as he spoke, but I was able to gain control before the urge to defend myself overcame me.

Jacob caught the packing tape I tossed to him while I finished filling one box, with many more to go.

While I continued pulling the books off the shelves, he sealed the first box, moving it closer to the door. "So, I guess this is it," Jacob said as he sat down on the other side of the new box.

"Yeah," I murmured, trying not to let his words bug me. I pulled Merchant of Venice from the shelf while at the same time recalling our encounter with the Vulturi, and how hard that had been on all of us. I wondered how this move, and not seeing Charlie anymore, would compare.

We worked quietly for a few more minutes. Jacob started putting more books into the box, seeming focused on something. "Have you had a chance to talk to Charlie?"

"Before we left the last time, I told him we were going to Hanover so I could attend College." I put another book in the box and glanced over at my best friend. I couldn't recall a time in recent weeks when Jake and I had spent any time together. He had been busy with his life and me with mine. Now, being here with Jake reminded me of what it used to be like. "How is school going?"

Jacob shrugged, pausing a moment before he stuck another book into our box. "I've been thinking about going for my GED at this point." He glanced over at me already on the defensive. "I know I need to try and get the best education I can to keep up with Nessie, but there's just too much going on in my life, too much I need to figure out."

When he slumped forward I got up and sat down on his other side. "So what are you thinking about, it seems like you've already made a decision."

A sigh escaped his lips, and he shook his head. "I'm thinking maybe I might end up in Hanover with you guys. When you were gone for that week it was miserable."

"What would Billy say?" At this point it seemed to me that Jacob's choices were beyond asking Billy what he thought. My friend had already gone away once before, when things got tough, so it wasn't like Jacob didn't know how to handle himself. The difference now was that he was the Alpha of his pack, and I wasn't sure how he would manage.

"Billy knows what has been going through my mind, most of my pack, and even Sam knows," Jacob answered as he flipped through one of the newer books. "Sometimes I wish I could go back to being the boy you once knew before all of it happened," he mumbled, putting the book he had into the box.

For me there was no going back. I had no regrets becoming a vampire, even though life wasn't as simple. For Jake it didn't seem so straight forward and it was hard to watch him struggle. My best friend was torn between his obligations here and the ones he had for my daughter.

"I guess I need to head over to the house. Do you think she's up?"

For a moment I listened, first to the sounds near me like Jacob's beating heart and his breathing, and then further out until I could hear the goings on at the big house.

"She's with Rose and Emmett now, but you can go on and see her."

Jacob stood half way up, keeping hunched over so he wouldn't hit his head on the ceiling. "See you later Bells." Before he left he smiled and I really hoped he would work things out. I wished I could help him, but right now the more urgent matter at hand, was to keep packing and have it all ready before noon when the next van would arrive.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

There are not enough fingers on my hands to count the number of times I had been through this. Standing at the entry of the room that had once been mine and Bella's, I felt a difference. All the times my family had moved before, it had just been routine, one place seemed like all the rest. Today the difference was that this was my first house as a married man with a child. This house represented, in a way, the turn my life had taken when I first set eyes on Isabella Swan. With her in my life, everyday brought something new. There was no longer the aloneness I had become so accustom to feeling.

After glancing one more time into the vacant space I turned and went down the hall, opening the door to another room. The small area that my daughter used to occupy had once been filled with her drawings and toys. Now it was empty and foreign.

"What are you thinking?" Bella asked as I held my arm out for her.

Once she was leaning against me I wrapped it around her. "I was just thinking about how much our lives have changed since we first moved in."

"I think I'm going to miss this place, maybe someday we can come back." Her voice was soft and in it I could hear the pain. I knew how hard this was for her, and hoped with time that moving would become easier for Bella and for our little girl.

For a brief few seconds I expanded my range of hearing, picking up the sounds in my parents' house. Jake was trying to convince Renesmee to go hunting with him, something none of us had much luck with, and everyone else was busy packing for the inevitable move.

With Renesmee well cared for, I found myself wanting to spend some time alone with my wife.

It appeared Bella had the same idea as she moved from my side to standing in front of me. When I looked down at her I read the desire in her eyes and a moment later I could hear her thoughts. Nothing else at that moment mattered except for my wife and our love.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

With only an hour left, I was determined to spend as much time with Nessie as I could. She still wasn't talking, and since no one had been able to get her to go hunting, Esme gave her that purple cup with the donated blood.

In her room we were eating Doritos while she finished off another cup of blood. I made a face, wondering how in the world she could stand that combination. Emmett had moved a small TV in and I was now stuck watching a live screen version of Peter Pan. This was a version I'd never seen, with actors I didn't recognize, but the important thing was that Nessie seemed happy.

Currently, there was a little boy on the back of a large sheep dog, hanging on for dear life as that dog ran down a large hall way. When the running stopped the boy flipped from the animal into the tub of water, and Nessie actually laughed before she ate another Dorito.

"So what is that dog called?"

Nessie didn't answer and I sighed, kissing the top of her head as I wrapped my arms around her, leaning back against the headboard of her bed. It would be easier if they didn't have to leave, and a small part of me wanted to just tell Charlie what was going on. But after that one time, when I caused Bella so much pain, I knew I had to just go along with the flow.

Someone knocked at the door before it opened. Bella walked in with a pair of long pajamas folded over her arm.

As I started to sit up I felt Nessie pushing back as she shook her head. "I won't go, but you need to get dressed."

Again she shook her head turning around until her face was hidden against my chest, and her small arms were wrapped tightly around me.

Bella sat down on the edge of her bed, trying to comfort her daughter, but the moment her hand rubbed against Nessie's back, she began to whimper. I wasn't sure what to say and just waited, ready to let Bella handle it.

"Do you want Jake to help you get dressed?" We got one nod for an answer and Bella stood up putting the pajamas down by my side.

Once she had gone, Nessie turned around, lifting her arms up while returning her attention to the TV.

As I got her dressed I wondered just how hard this was going to be. If Nessie was already protesting simply getting dressed without me, what was she going to act like when it was time to go?

The pajama shirt I slid over Nessie's head was white with cartoon like kittens printed all over the fabric. The pants were designed the same way, and without prompting she stood up letting me finish getting her dressed. Once I had accomplished that, she plopped back down and she snuggled against me.

"Socks," I reminded as I tried handing them to her.

She shook her head, reaching out for her cup which I put in her small hands.

When I reached down to try and put one of the socks on her left foot Nessie kicked at me, but relaxed the moment I gave up.

Just as Peter Pan was about to leave with the three kids to take them to his world or land, the door opened again and Edward came in. He sat down on the edge of the bed and I moved over as he started to watch with us.

It seemed like he knew what he was doing, because after a few minutes Nessie crawled out of my arms and in to his, letting him put her socks on and wipe her hands and face clean of the Dorito cheese.

As Edward stood up and lifted Nessie against his chest, she sniffed and hid her face again. It seemed like that was her way of dealing with unpleasant things, like the sadness of having to say goodbye.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Downstairs everyone was waiting. Even Charlie was there, and I was surprised I hadn't heard him. That seemed to happen a lot when I was along with Nessie. The world around me seemed to disappear like she was the only one there - the most important person in my life who I needed to protect - but that wasn't my job yet, and I wondered if it ever would be.

While they all began saying goodbye, I remembered Jack and sped up stairs, getting him and the soft pink blanket Nessie had started to carry around lately. Back downstairs everyone was already outside and I could hear her crying.

Edward had managed to get Nessie strapped into her seat and she wasn't happy.

"Hey Ness, look who I found."

The moment she saw me she covered her face with her hands and cried harder. That hurt. I knew she wasn't mad at me, or even rejecting me. It was like that with Claire sometimes when she was tired and upset.

"I'm sorry Jake," Bella offered as she came to me and took the stuffed wolf along with the blanket.

"Don't worry, I know not to take it personally." When Bella hugged me I hugged back, ignoring the way she smelled. That was something I had gotten used to so it really wasn't so difficult anymore.

Charlie was next in line to hug Bella, and I looked away as they stood there nearly motionless. It seemed like Charlie somehow knew he wouldn't be seeing them again, and I seriously hoped that one day we could find a way to change that. "Be safe," I heard him tell her as they finally parted.

"I will. We will call you tomorrow sometime."

Once Bella was in the back of the car with Edward and Nessie, Charlie shut her door and Carlisle pulled slowly away.

Long after everyone had gone their separate ways, I stood where I was, lost in thought, wondering what to do. This was going to be a hard time, not only for me but for my pack as I thought about what was best for me and for them.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

By the time we arrived at Port Angeles Airport, Renesmee had gone to sleep. Since Edward was better at getting her out of the safety seat, I let him handle that. I got out of the car, going to the trunk to gather the few bags we had brought along with us.

"Why don't you let me handle that?" Edward asked from behind me.

Once I had the two medium duffels slung over both shoulders, I turned to answer. "Your hands are already full, and I can handle this without looking too conspicuous." It was obvious, that if my husband had his way, I would be holding Renesmee while he carried the bags, but Edward was beginning to learn that I could hold my own when he allowed me too.

We walked over to where Carlisle and Esme were waiting by the front passenger door, and I watched as they both took turns hugging Edward and kissing Renesmee.

Suddenly I had that all too familiar feeling of something being stuck in the back of my throat. We had already said goodbye once in the past few weeks, but the last time was not as permanent as it was now.

It was my turn, and I managed to hug both of them without having the bags slide down my arms. When Esme hugged me neither one of us seemed capable of letting go. For the past few months of my life she had taken the place of my own mother, and as I thought of Renee that stuck feeling in my throat seemed to get worse.

"We will be there before you know it," Esme said as both of us finally parted, only when Edward reminded me that we needed to get to our gate before they left without us. He was of course teasing - we had an hour before we needed to truly be there. Edward's intent was to try and ease me out of my pain and I was grateful for that. Without looking back, I took my husband's free hand and entered airport, trying to swallow my fears and sadness as we made our way to the check in counter.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

With my cheek pressed against Edwards shoulder, I focused on his soft voice as he read to Renesemee. A few days ago Rosalie and Emmett took her to a book store in Hoquiam, and came back with a first edition of Peter Pan. It wasn't the Disney version, but rather the original.

***"**_All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. _

_One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. _

_I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, "Oh, why can't you remain like this for ever!"_

_This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end_."

As Edward continued with the story I gazed down at our daughter, whose small hands were helping to hold the book open. She was as drawn into the story as I was, and I couldn't help but believe that it was Edwards's voice, sure and steady as he continued the story about the boy who never grew up, that held our attention so completely.

The part he was reading now, about the oldest child having to grow up, made me wonder why Renesmee had picked this book. Maybe in some way it helped her cope with living in such a confusing and complex world. Or perhaps it was just a way to escape into another world that wasn't so confusing.

When my husband suddenly stopped reading I focused on him, watching as Nessie tried to slip out of his arms. Suddenly the large book was on my lap and he moved out of his seat at the fastest speed he could go.

Was Renesmee suddenly ill? I listened, hearing them enter one of the small cramped bathrooms and before the door even shut Renesmee was sobbing.

"Shh, it was just an accident. Momma will hear and bring another set of night clothes."

That was my cue, and I realized what had happened. Neither of us had bothered to have her use the bathroom when she woke up. Quickly I was out of my seat and grabbed the carry-on from the overhead compartment. For once I was glad that I always packed an extra outfit, though until now we had never needed one.

My baby was still quite upset when I got there, and one of the attendants brought us a few towels to help dry her off. We couldn't all fit in the bathroom and Renesmee wasn't willing to just have one of us there, so we made do just outside the small area.

It didn't take us long to get her into a dry pair of pajamas, and once she was dressed, Renesmee began to settle down.

Back at our seat the attendant brought some juice for her, not realizing that our little girl didn't like the sweet taste, but it was the thought that counted.

While she sat on my lap, Renesmee snacked on pretzels and Doritos, occasionally drinking water out of her favorite purple sippy cup.

Edward and I had been talking about starting her on other human foods, in order for her to get used to that so she might fit in better when she was old enough to attend school.

My husband once told me that human food didn't taste good to her, like Lima Beans and Brussel Sprouts tasted to me. But lately Renesmee had taken to eating the same sort of junk food Jake liked, which also included pizza. Maybe she was getting used to normal food, which would make our plan easier when we put it into effect.

Edward leaned toward our daughter, whispering in her ear to something I guess he heard in her thoughts. When he moved away, still looking at her, Renesmee shoved the food away folding her arms against her chest as she began breathing hard like she was hyperventilating.

Where had she learned that to do that?

Again he whispered in her ear and she leaned away from him clearly not happy about something.

I could at any point listen in, but I was trying not to do that to her, giving Renesmee the freedom to talk to someone without having to worry about her momma budding in.

A moment later she was lifted from my lap, and this time when Edward whispered in her ear she stopped trying to fight him, instead leaning forward until her face was against his chest as she began sniffing.

Now I was curious, but knew not to ask what was going on while she could hear my question, so I pushed my shield away letting him hear it in my mind. _What was that all about?_

Holding her with one arm, Edward pointed to the duffel and I caught on, pulling a pen and pad out for him to write on.

**_She wanted a drink, and when I tried to explain to her why we can't allow that, she wasn't pleased_.**

That was all I needed to get caught up with the current situation, and I looked at the gold watch on my wrist realizing why she was grumpy. We were gaining three hours traveling to the other side of the country, and even though Renesmee's body was on Pacific Time, it was still past the time we normally allowed for her to be up. From the duffel I pulled out her pink blanket and Jack, handing the wolf to Edward before I draped the blanket over her.

Renesmee didn't try to kick it away and when Edward offered her Jack, she grabbed him and pulled him against her chest. After a few minutes she turned her head and looked at me, sleepily.

I reached out and brushed my finger against her cheek smiling as she yawned. "Do you want Daddy to read to you again?"

When she nodded I got her book and held it out for Edward as he started on the second chapter. Once again his voice lulled both of us, and for a while I let the story carry me away.

Eventually my thoughts began to drift, and I began to think of Charlie. None of us had been expecting him to show up, not until Alice's vision let us know he was on his way.

At first, she had seen Charlie confronting us, wanting to know the full truth, but five minutes before he arrived he changed his mind. I shut my eyes as the pain drifted over me again, hearing Edward's voice pause before he continued with the story.

Our baby was still awake, resting against his chest while she watched me and listened to the story, and for the moment I pushed my feelings aside and focused on her.

As Renesmee's eye lids drooped down, she lifted her head fighting sleep. "Do you want me to hold you?"

She shook her head before resting it back against her father's chest.

Edward was still reading as I held the book up for him, and instead of holding her with both arms he moved his left arm away. Gently, he began rubbing his free hand over her back and this time when her eye lids drooped down she didn't try to fight the need to sleep.

I wasn't concerned that Renesmee seemed to want Edward more than me these days, and I couldn't blame her for wanting him to comfort her. How many nights had he done that very thing for me when I was still human, struggling with the nightmares of Victoria coming after me, or simply happy to have him by my side after that one terrible absence?

The sound of Renesmee's steady breathing and the lack of Edwards's soft voice drew me back to the present. I put the book away as he leaned back in the seat, glad that we were in first class where there was more room. I pulled the arm rest separating us up, and leaned my seat back before I moved closer to them. "What has she been thinking while you've been reading to her? I'm curious why she chose Peter Pan."

"Esme said she caught the cartoon version on TV the other day and was instantly curious about why a person wouldn't want to grow up. When Renesmee found out the movie was adapted from a book she showed Esme a memory of you reading Tennyson to her along with the movie. After that Rose and Emmett offered to take her to that used book store in Hoquiam, and now she can't get enough of the book or that live version she was watching with Jacob."

"Is she having you read it to her because she wants to know about what it's like to have to grow up?" That worried me, and Edward shifted Renesmee to his right side reaching out with his left hand, gently brushing it across my cheek.

"I don't know that I can really put what she thinks into the proper words," he whispered. "When I was reading to her she was remembering playing dress up with Claire at Emily and Sam's. At other times she was remembering the children in the movie dressing up and playing in the nursery. I'm not sure what all of that means, aside from trying to guess. So if I had to do that, I would venture to say that she is trying to figure out how to be normal, at least the way she interprets normal to be."

We were both quiet after his explanation. Edward shut his eyes and I followed his example resting my cheek against his chest as he wrapped his arm around me. Part of the charade was pretending to need sleep just like everyone else.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Home, we were finally here ready to start a new chapter of our lives. As I pulled the car around to the back of the house I caught a glimpse of a dark shadow moving off into the woods, realizing that Renesmee's bear was still safe. The relief I felt at seeing him was a surprise, because truthfully that bear had been the last thing I had thought of this evening.

In a second, I was out of the car and at the back driver's side door before Bella could move. When the door was opened she was glaring at me. Since our first meeting Bella had always been so independent. That was in part, aside from her blood, what drew me to want to know her more. I hoped she would get used to allowing me to do things such as open the door for her, or when the need arose to eat with company, pull out her chair, but so far it seemed to be a losing battle.

Regardless of her glare, I held out my hand wondering if she would turn and go out the other door, but my wife finally smiled before reaching for me.

I pulled her none too gently out of the car and into my arms, kissing her hard before I stopping to look into her eyes. When Bella had been human, my kiss or any of hint of one would have had her heart racing, and sometimes I missed that.

Before either of us had time to react, Renesmee's heart fluttering faster, along with her restless movements drew us to the other side of the car.

As Bella opened the door Renesmee's eyes fluttered opened and in her mind she was screaming "no" over and over again.

Our baby covered her face with her small hands, making it difficult for Bella to move the straps so she could lift Renesmee out of the seat.

"Baby, I need you to move your hands so I can get the straps over your arms," Bella whispered while trying to comfort Renesmee.

One good thing about being at home, at least I was hoping, was that we could get a routine going. At the very most we had three to four years to stay put, and by then our little girl would be done growing for the most part.

When Bella sighed and stepped away from the car I hugged her before I took my turn. I leaned in and kissed the backs of both hands and Renesmee's forehead, before I moved away and waited.

Renesmee responded well when we didn't try to push her, and at this point my main concern was not getting her all keyed up so we could put her back to bed. Her thoughts were jumbled again, and she didn't move one inch.

Carefully I moved Renesmee's right hand away, hating it when she began to cry. I moved the strap over that arm and hand and did the same with the other before lifting her out of the car.

Too often for my liking, Renesmee had been upset enough to cry, and now that we were finally here I was relatively certain that all of that was about to change.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

In Renesmee's room Bella had already pulled the sheets back but instead of laying our baby down, I sat on the edge of the bed and began to rock her. As I did so, I began to hum the lullaby I had been composing for her first birthday. The new tune caught Renesmee's attention and her cries lessened before they stopped all together.

As she moved her small hands away from her face, Bella arrived with a soft tissue and wiped the tears away before kissing her.

Renesmee's small warm hand against my neck followed by the image of what we had just been doing was her way of telling me she was ready for more of my lullaby. When I began humming again, Bella sat next to us and I wrapped my free arm around her.

We watched as Renesmee drifted off to sleep and once she was tucked into bed we went downstairs.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

In the family room Bella and I sat on the black leather sofa across from the fire place. "How do you feel about being home?"

Bella sighed and leaned against me as I wrapped both arms around her. "It just feels like this is all so final, us leaving Forks, never seeing Charlie again. I didn't think it was going to be so hard," she breathed.

"The first move was the most difficult for all of us," I began, vaguely remembering leaving Chicago not long after Carlisle had changed me.

Bella turned to face me as I continued. "I haven't thought of that time in so long, but I think I was afraid. My family had always lived there or close by, and even with my newborn thirst dominating my every need, I can still recall the emptiness I felt upon moving away."

"It shouldn't be that way for us. Every since we met, I've always wanted this, always wanted to spend every day of my life with you by my side."

Bella was struggling with her words and I hugged her closer. "But you couldn't guess that there might be pain at leaving behind someone you love." Her head shook once as a strangled sob escaped her lips.

"Maybe there is a way," she said, fighting for composure.

As much as I wanted her to have Charlie in her life, years of experience had taught me that it was better to let go. Of course, I had not been unable to do that with Bella, and we had not gotten this far without quite a few bumps in the road, but we had an obligation to keep Charlie safe. "Not without great risk. Are you willing to put him through all of our struggles, including the ones we faced with the Volturi?" Those were harsh words, but she needed to consider what I was saying.

Bella's sobs tore at me and I hated myself for causing her pain. A part of me thought that once she went through the transformation, Bella would be spared emotional pain of any sort, but already that wasn't the case. "I'm sorry love. I wish there was another way."

It was quite some time before her sobs tapered off, and by that time the first rays of sun were beginning to light up the world outside our house.

"I'm sorry I did that," she whispered hoarsely.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Bella."

"It feels like I've lost Charlie, like he's already gone. I don't feel as strong about Renee, why don't I Edward?"

From the tone of her voice, sad and resigned, I knew that last part bothered Bella a great deal. "How clearly do you remember her?"

Bella thought quietly for a few minutes before she lifted her head from my chest. "I don't remember her as clearly, fuzzy like most of my human years."

"I'm sorry to cause you so much pain."

When Bella moved onto my lap I held her as close as I could, resting my chin upon her head. We were quiet after that, watching as the day outside grew brighter.

"I guess we are going to have to adjust to staying indoors more often with fewer rainy days."

"Not necessarily. The reason I picked this location to live, is due to the fact that our nearest neighbors will be Carlisle and Esme. After that we don't have anyone around our area for another twenty five miles. The forest will also keep the sun light out, for the most part."

Once she was feeling better, Bella left to go check on our daughter, which I found interesting. We could hear Renesmee even from outside, and yet both of us had fallen into the habit of going to look in on her while she slept. Upstairs I heard Bella talking, and picked up our daughter's heart rate which was faster now that she was awake.

I stopped myself from listening to Renesmee's thoughts, deciding that it was time for her to use her memories to show us what she needed, and even her words.

From the tone in my wife's voice it sounded like it was the start of another busy day for us and I hoped, as I stood up and began to head for the foyer and stairs, that it wouldn't be such a struggle to get through.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

***: **Excerpt taken from **J.W. Berry's** Peter Pan

**Authors Note: **_I'm going to start updating once a week on Saturday or Sunday. If I don't do that I'll end up rushing this story and I really want to take my time with it and make it as enjoyable as I can for those of you who are new to this one and those of you who are following along. Thank you for taking the time to read._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Family Time**

The crackle of the fire along with Edward's hand moving slowly down my back were the only two things I was focused on. Nights after our daughter was sound asleep, safe in the soft confines of her bed belonged to me and Edward. We both realized that we should take advantage of the free time and do more work on the house, but our craving to be together had not been, in the least bit, sated. When the movement of his hands on my back and other parts of my body increased, even the sound of the fire was drowned out by the sensations his touch was causing, and for a very long time our love was the only thing that mattered.

Much later, as I rested half on top of him with my cheek pressed to his well sculpted bare chest and Edwards arms wrapped around me, I began to think about the day ahead of us. Yesterday was not as bad as the first two. Renesmee went willingly with us to hunt, and was very happy when she caught the biggest deer. While Edward and I focused on our catches, our little girl finished with her kill and went a few miles away to spend time with her bear. We heard her telling him about Forks and my father, and after that I couldn't focus on much else.

My thoughts drew back on the present as I felt Edwards kiss on top of my head before his arms pulled me more securely against him. "Tell me what you are thinking please."

"Just about yesterday and what Renesmee talked about with that bear."

Another kiss was pressed on top of my head. "She is getting used to being here and her thoughts are no longer as unhappy as they once were."

At his words I lifted my head, gazing into the golden depths of his eyes as I balanced myself on his chest. I reached out to stroke my right hand against his cheek. "Sometimes I wish I could know what she was thinking like you do. I know she shares her thoughts but since she hasn't been I've missed that."

When Renesmee shared the events of her day with me, I got to see things through her eyes. Now that she wasn't doing that any more I felt an emptiness in my heart, which only made it harder not to worry. Thinking about our daughter made me realize that we needed to start working on the schedule we had discussed before leaving Forks. Along with that we also needed to help her adjust to eating human food. Glancing over to the window and seeing the first light of the new day, I realized that it was time to get up.

Before I could bring my thoughts to words Edwards hand was gently turning my head back to face him. He leaned up and when his lips touched mine there were no more thoughts. Suddenly my back was to the mattress and Edwards's weight pressed down against me as his leg pushed mine apart. My whole body was alive with sensation and a different kind of thirst was there, needing to be quenched by only the love he could give me.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

The confusion of Renesmee's thoughts broke through my own consuming ones of Bella and what we were currently doing. As I broke our kiss Bella's hands wrapped in my hair and she tried pulling my head back down. "Renesmee is awake."

My wife understood, and it took all of our efforts to untangle ourselves and get up. Once we were dressed I took her hand and we walked down the hall to the small room our little girl occupied. She was very much awake standing in front of her bed.

"Renesmee?"

When she heard my voice she glanced over at me before looking away to the floor. As we walked closer the unmistakable smell of urine hit me and Bella, and I realized why our baby was embarrassed.

My wife let go of my hand and went to our little girl, kneeling in front of her. "How about a bubble bath?"

Lately Renesmee loved being in the bath, especially when there were bubbles. Now she was shaking her head and moved away sitting down on the carpet as she pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. I tried reading Renesmee's thoughts but she was singing the Sunshine song Jacob had taught her, though the tune was off and some of the words were wrong.

Before going to Renesmee myself I comforted Bella, wrapping my arms around her when she stood. Bella rested her cheek against my chest. "I'll get the water running," she whispered before pulling away from me.

Once Bella had gone my focus went back to our baby. When I was behind Renesmee, I knelt down and wrapped my arms around her. "You did nothing wrong." My little girl was shaking and I carefully lifted her, turning her until she was cradled in my arms.

"Why did it get wet on me?"

"You must have been very sound asleep, and didn't realize that you needed to use the potty."

Those chocolate brown eyes, so like Bella's had been, were focused on me and Renesmee's lips were trembling. "It was wet in my dream, and you didn't come."

In the bathroom the tub was full of bubbles smelling of Strawberries, and Bella was there with a worried expression on her face. "I'm sorry." That was all I could think to say to my baby as I knelt down against the cool tiles on the floor, lowering her on her feet.

Once her wet gown was off I lifted her up and started to put her in the water full of bubbles, but Renesmee clung to me shaking her head.

"We have to get you clean." When my baby still wouldn't let go I hugged her close as Bella put her arms around us. Our daughter was embarrassed and I felt helpless. Thoughts of that conversation I had with Esme crept into my mind. I hadn't known how difficult being a parent would be and Esme said there was no way to describe the challenges until I had a child of my own. I now understood that point quite well.

"Renesmee, why don't we get you cleaned up, and we can go to the grocery store today like we talked about," Bella tried. We discovered that it was going to be another rainy day, and when we brought that up to our daughter yesterday, Renesmee had been very excited.

"They know," Renesmee whispered.

"No one will know, and Momma and I won't tell anyone else," I promised as my little girl wrapped her arms tighter around my neck.

It took a lot of persuasion but we finally got Renesmee cleaned up and dressed. While she and Bella went downstairs to work a puzzle, I stripped the wet sheets from my daughter's bed and with some mild soap and water cleaned the mattress, leaving it uncovered so it could dry. While doing that simple task I thought about how normal our lives were becoming. Never before had I felt like I belonged, and certainly not in a world full of humans all delicate and breakable. Now that we were a family, and I was doing things such as cleaning the mattress on Renesmee's bed, I felt almost human, or more so a part of things than I once had.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

With my daughter nestled on my lap and nearly a hundred puzzle pieces in front of us, I watched as she patiently picked out all of the edge and corner pieces putting them in to one pile. A few months ago, Edward and I got back from hunting and found her sitting with Emmett and Rosalie working a fairly complex puzzle. Since that time Renesmee's love for working puzzles has grown. For hours on end she will sit still, very carefully finding each piece to put into place, and she never grows tired of that or becomes discouraged. I on the other hand still can't stand to work them, but this time spent with my little girl is the best part of my day

"What about that one?" I pointed to a piece too far for either of us to reach.

Renesmee stood up and took few steps before she bent down to get it, adding it to the edges and corners pile. Once that was done she settled back on my lap. "Momma, you work the first piece," she said through a yawn.

Keeping my left arm around her I glanced at the organized piles. I selected the corner that would go into the top right hand side, putting it in front of us as I looked for the first edge piece that would fit it. I guess I was taking too much time, because after a few minutes of not finding the right piece Renesmee sighed and picked up the what I needed and gave it too me. "I'm sorry baby, I'm not very good at working a puzzle until all the edges are put together."

"You can go do something else," Renesmee said sadly.

"I want to be with you, but do you mind if I watch until you get the edges worked out?" She nodded once and picked up another piece fitting it easily into place. As she sought out other pieces I found one that would fit the upper left corner and reached around her putting the two together. When we both began to work on it, she moved off my lap working at a steady pace, while I found pieces to add to the puzzle more randomly.

By the time Edward joined us, we had most of the edges put together. I lifted my head as he stood behind me, and he bent down kissing me gently on the lips. "I thought we should go on to the store. The rain is supposed to start clearing up a little after noon."

"I thought it was supposed to last all day."

"Alice," he said with my favorite crooked smile forming on his lips.

"Renesmee we need to go to the store now," I announced while getting to my feet.

Her hand stopped midway from putting a piece into place and when it dropped onto the floor, Edward had her in his arms hugging her and assuring her that no one would know about her accident earlier this morning. Once Renesmee felt better I got my purse and her rain coat and helped her put that on.

Outside it was steadily raining, but we kept dry in the garage. When Renesmee was safely in her seat and I was settled in the front, Edward started our newest Volvo and we were soon on our way. Most of the drive was quiet and I noticed just how green it was here as well.

Our house is located in the safety of the forest around Hanover and the closest road is Goose Pond Road ten miles away. At one point I glanced back at Renesmee finding her looking out her window as we made our way into town. My hope was that she would learn to like human food. If she could learn to do that then maybe high school wouldn't be as awkward for her as it would be for the rest of us

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

As we drove closer to town I glanced in my rearview mirror. "Renesmee." Once I had her attention I began. "When we get to the grocery store I need you to stay close to Momma and me." Reminding her to be careful when we were out in public was second nature, and she never complained when we did. "When we get in side the store we will show you all the food they have there, but it is important that you do nothing unusual."

My daughter's gaze fell to her lap and I reached behind me putting my free hand over her smaller ones. My intension wasn't to make her feel different, but at the same time she had to keep up the charade just as the rest of us did.

It was pouring when we pulled into the parking lot next to the Foodstop. Once the car was parked I turned around, reaching back to unfasten the safety straps freeing Renesmee from her seat before I lifted her into the front. I pulled the hood of her rain jacket up and tied it under her chin giving her a kiss as Bella reached for her.

Once Renesmee was in Bella's arms I got out putting up the large umbrella as I shut the door. When I got to their side I opened their door making sure to keep the umbrella over both of them. Bella and I don't mind the rain so much but Renesmee does which was all the more reason to hurry.

Inside it was warm and dry, and I felt Bella's arm go around mine a moment before I realized that we hadn't hunted since yesterday. "Do you want to wait outside in the car?"

"I can manage just don't let go of me." My wife's determination to fit into this life is so like her. Since we met, Bella has wanted this, to be a vampire, more so than any of the rest of us.

"Renesmee, would you like to ride in the cart?" Bella asked.

Our little girl shook her head. While I carried her Bella stood at my side pushing as we headed to the produce section. We showed Renesmee oranges, apples, banana's and pretty much everything else we could think of, but she kept shaking her head. After going down two isles I was beginning to wonder if this was a wasted trip, until my baby lifted her head from my shoulder and pointed to all of the pasta. Bella picked up a box of regular spaghetti noodles, but Renesmee shook her head struggling for me to let her down.

When she was free our little girl reached up and pulled down a box of Angel Hair Pasta and put it in Bella's hands. I wasn't sure when she had eaten pasta, but Bella seemed to know. "Do you want spaghetti like Billy makes when you are with Jacob?"

Our daughter smiled for the first time in a while, and Bella got three other boxes and two bottles of Ragu. My wife led us to the isle where the cooking spices were and got some garlic powder and other ingredients upon Renesmee's request.

After Bella had the spices Renesmee held up her arms and I held her again. She leaned in and whispered, "Have to get bread for Garlic."

"Garlic Bread?" When she nodded Bella led the way, and Renesmee pointed out the French bread loaves. We bought all the fixings for an Italian Dinner, including what we needed for salad. I wanted to ask my baby if she would eat all of that food but didn't. Renesmee was interested in eating human food, and I wasn't going to chance upsetting her. Along with the spaghetti we also bought some less healthy foods, things she liked when she was with Jacob. Maybe when Jacob came to see us I could persuade him to eat healthier to see if Renesmee would do the same.

***~*~*~*~*~*~**

Since it was still drizzling when we got home, I stayed with Renesmee while Bella headed out to hunt. We asked our little girl if she wanted to go out, but she said it was too wet and that she wanted to have spaghetti instead.

In the kitchen, with Renesmee standing on a stool, I opened the jar of sauce and put it into a small pan. Once that was ready she took the garlic powder I opened, and sprinkled it in the sauce covering the top with the powder, before she took a small wooden spoon and began to stir. "You're pretty good at that."

"Jacob and me made some," she whispered as she sprinkled in some Oregano. Once that was stirred in she reached out, and I took her small hand helping her down from her stepping stool. "We have to stir it ten minutes later."

"Do you want me to do the rest?"

She nodded and was singing You are my Sunshine again.

Twenty minutes later her spaghetti was ready along with the Garlic Bread, and Salad. Upstairs I found my baby playing with her two dolls, gifts from Rosalie and Emmett when they returned from their last trip to Europe. "Are you ready to eat?"

"I want to eat here."

"How about if I sit with you while you eat in the kitchen."

"Can I bring Rose and Violet?"

"Yes."

Back downstairs I helped her into her booster seat and put her two dolls in chairs close by before I sat down myself.

"Daddy do I have to drink blood?" Renesmee asked as she slurped a noodle into her mouth.

Carlisle and I had talked about that and determined that she needed blood to survive. Human food was something she also needed, but could do with out for longer than the blood. "Yes, your body needs that along with what you are eating now."

Once she had taken a bite of salad and swallowed it my baby looked at me again. "Little Bear eats bugs. He showed me, and I am glad I don't have to do that."

Renesmee giggled and I laughed. "I'm glad also." I couldn't imagine eating them, though I knew in other parts of the world that certain insects were a delicacy.

"Something smells good," Bella called out as she entered the house from the backyard entrance.

"Better than bugs," Renesmee said when Bella entered the kitchen. Our little girl laughed as Bella looked at me with confusion in her eyes.

"We were just discussing Little Bears dietary habits, and Renesmee was telling me how glad she is not to have to eat bugs."

After that we all laughed, and it felt good to sit at the table as a family and share in this moment of happiness. All I could hope for was more of these moments and less of the sad.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Violet you have to be very quiet." My doll has red hair and blue eyes and she has a very pretty flower dress that goes down past her feet. I putted her down on the little chair and went back to Rose. My other dolly has brown eyes and brown hair just like me, and has a yellow dress with butterflies on it. "When the Faery prince comes back tell him to shush."

My dolls are safe so I went down stairs to the kitchen. Momma and daddy are getting their room fixed up. My momma has lots of books and she wants to go slow to put them way on the shelves. That's silly because she is fast. Sometimes when I don't want my daddy to hear the words in my mind I sing Sunshine song, so I did. The chips were on a high up shelf over the counter so I need to climb. I got two drawers open and climbed up them, but they were wobbling and I almost falled down but Daddy caught me.

"Why don't you let me help you?"

"I am a big girl," I told him as he set me down on the counter. That way we could see and I didn't have to look way up high.

"You are very smart, but if you need something that is much higher up than you, you need to come and find Momma or me so that we can help you."

"I want to go upstairs now." When I looked down he put his hand under my face and I had to look back at him.

"Will you promise to let us help?"

"Yes Daddy." He hugged me but I didn't hug him, and when I was on the floor I ran to my room and shut the door very soft. "Jack, why can't we be taller?" My Jack is a wolf, and he guards my room when I'm gone.

He didn't say anything that anyone else could hear, not even vampires, but I can hear him. "When we get done growing we will be tall? But that will take us a while." I climbed on my bed, careful not to hurt Violet, and hugged him close. "Maybe we should go see Little Bear.

Outside my window it was still wet but the rain had gone away and I was happy. I don't get as cold as other people, but I don't like how it feels when it rains. "Daddy, I want to see Little Bear now."

In the big room momma and daddy were still putting books away, but they stopped when I got to them. "I want to go by myself."

"Not too far. Do you remember the trees we showed you?"

Yesterday we found four trees and I can't go past them. "Yes, I'll be very careful."

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Letting my daughter venture off on her own isn't always easy for me, though being able to hear her thoughts is comforting and allows me to know that she is safe. Renesmee was still singing her song as she left, but the tone was happier and carefree so I focused on what I was doing, wondering once again why we had to take our time. "Bella, we could have this done already and be on to more interesting venues if you would allow it." When she wanted to be Bella was the most stubborn person I had ever met, but it was that stubbornness and courage that I loved.

"We could, but I still want to do some things at a more human speed," she answered, not really paying much attention to what I was about to do.

When I leaned in and blew a breath of air into her ear, Bella shivered and the book she had been holding dropped on her lap. If I had known that all I had to do was a simple act of seduction instead of trying to talk her out of putting the books away, I would have done that long ago.

Very quickly we fell to the floor and a few books fell around us. I turned on my back and lifted her up helping her straddle my chest before her lips were on mine. Too soon she pulled away. "Renesmee?"

I listened, expecting to hear our baby's song, but I didn't. I focused on other noises outside listening for her voice, but I didn't hear that either. "I can't hear her."

We were to our feet in a second, and Bella grabbed me turning me toward her. "What do you mean you can't hear her?"

"I can't hear her in my head." It was then that we were both racing down the stairs heading outside, both of us on edge as we listened for anything. I couldn't hear her thoughts and as my panic grew I took off into the woods focused on finding our little girl, praying that she wasn't hurt.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**AN: **_I am very sorry for taking this long to update but I kept writing Renesmee being crabby all the time and I wanted something different for her. Finally I've found something more to add to her part of the plot line and get things cooking hopefully. I'll try and update in the next two weeks because I don't want to rush it. If you noticed Renesmee doesn't always get words in the right order. I'm doing that deliberately I think that her mind works so fast she has a hard time catching up even in her POV, which is hard to write but I like trying. I hope you guys like what you see, and thanks to all of you who are reading this. One other thing is that I'm trying to show the more pasionate part of Bella and Edward. I don't want to have to put an M rating on it which is why I'm not going into much detail or spending a great amount of time on it. Hopefully you all like what I've done so far, I'm out of practice writing the adult scenes like that, and it's difficult not to go into to much detail. Anyway Happy New Year_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Silence of a Different Sort  
**

The only sound that assured me of my daughter's safety was the distant beat of her heart, fluttering lightly as my wife and I raced toward her. My mind was unusually empty, only filled with my own thoughts and none of those from my little girl. I broke through the densely populated woods first, hitting a small clearing where Renesmee was playing and dancing while the bear rooted for bugs in a log near by. Seeing my baby safe sent a shock of relief through me, and I fell to my knees momentarily frozen in place as I watched Renesmee twirling, causing the pink dress she was wearing to fluff out at the bottom. Bella was soon at my side and the joy and relief I felt was replaced by confusion and worry. I got to my feet then and called out. "Renesmee."

It was clear that she had been too wrapped up in her play to realize that we were here with her, and that something had gone horribly wrong, though it wasn't her fault. The smile that had been on her lips a moment before was replaced by a frown before she looked down, dropping the wild flowers she held in her hands.

Still trying to clear my own thoughts in order to make sense of what was happening, I watched as Bella stepped forward, going over to our little girl.

"Am I in trouble?" I heard Renesmee ask, as Bella picked her up.

"No, your Daddy and I just needed to see that you were safe."

They both looked to me, and I quickly masked what I was feeling as I went to them.

"You were so quiet that I thought something might be wrong." The moment I stood in front of them Renesmee leaned toward me, and I brought her into my arms hugging her close as I turned my head, breathing in her sweet smell.

"Daddy, you hear me here," she said after a moment, lifting her head as she touched a small finger to my forehead.

"I do, but I want to give you privacy," I tried to explain, hoping she didn't see through the wall of security I was trying to build to keep her from worrying.

Renesmee seemed to consider what I was saying as her small brows furrowed in thought. "What is that?" she finally asked as we began to walk back toward the house with Bella walking to my left.

As smart as she was, there were still some words and situations that Renesmee didn't understand fully, and sometimes the simplest explanation was the easiest for her to focus on. "That kind of privacy means that I am letting you keep your thoughts to yourself." I looked into her eyes watching as she began to comprehend what I had just explained.

A moment later her small arms wrapped around my neck and she sighed, leaning her cheek against my shoulder, obviously tired from her play.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Once Renesmee had used the potty and was tucked in for a nap, I took Bella's hand and led her down the hall to our room. There I shut the door before turning to face the woman who had stolen my heart.

The look on her face was one of worry and also confusion, both emotions I had felt strongly as we raced through the woods to find our little girl. "I can't hear her," I finally said as I turned away from Bella and walked over to our bed. When I sat down she joined me and I put my left arm around her trying desperately to understand why I could no longer hear our daughter's thoughts.

For a few moments Bella sat quietly, also deep in thought. "Tell me what that means."

Briefly, I felt like shouting out that I didn't know what that meant, along with throwing a few things around, but I quickly controlled that outburst of emotion. If we were going to figure this out I needed to be open about everything. "Bella, I'm not sure I can describe it. It's not like anything I've experienced. One moment her thoughts are a part of me as always, and in the next, they are not." I shifted my body slightly to the right, facing my wife.

"Is it like the block with me?"

The first time I saw Bella, the most unique thing about her was that I couldn't hear what she was thinking. Even now my mind played over that first day, comparing it to what had just happened with our baby. The two situations didn't seem the same, but that may only be because from even before Bella gave birth to Renesmee, I could hear what our baby was thinking. "I have always heard her, so now that I can't its like missing a part of myself, like a limb but even more significant than that. I don't know how I will deal with not hearing her."

I hadn't noticed I was looking at the floor until Bella's hand was under my chin, pulling until my head was turned back to face her. "We will figure this out together Edward, and maybe it's just temporary. Renesmee was happy until she thought something was wrong."

Realizing that our sudden intrusion on Renesmee's play had caused our little girl to worry made me feel guilty. I stood up and crossed the room in less than a second, looking out the window at our back yard. Below us Renesmee's bear was pacing the yard, and looked up for a moment before he disappeared into the thick brush of the woods. Would Renesmee ever live a normal life or was she destined to have one disappointment after another?

"Don't shut me out," Bella said from behind me.

Always before I could go away on my own to figure things out, but now that Bella and I were married there wasn't that option. "I'm not trying to," I finally stated as I reached out and drew her into my arms. "This is just frustrating. I want us all to be happy, for our lives to be as rich as I know Carlisle and Esme's have been, but it somehow seems we aren't meant to get that chance."

"That's a pessimistic way of seeing things," she answered lightly before lifting her head away from my chest.

Bella was right, I was loathing again like I had when she was completing her transformation after Renesmee's birth. Back then I had been so self absorbed that I hadn't even seen the pain Renesmee was in until she showed me her memories of her birth, along with the simple thought that she had caused Bella to be hurt. *****

Drawing back to the present I reached out and cupped my left hand against Bella's smooth cheek. "You are right. This is just something we will have to figure out, and maybe it isn't something permanent." I tilted my head down and pressed my lips gently to hers before pulling away. "I love you Bella." With our daughter safely asleep I decided to show my wife just how much I loved her, and scooped her into my arms turning back toward our bed.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

While Edward talked on the phone with Carlisle, I stood outside our daughter's room listening as she had an imaginary conversation with one of her dolls about privacy. My worries that she would not be able to live a normal life, and have a normal childhood had been, for the most part, put to rest over the past few days. I still worried about what was now happening with Edward unable to hear her thoughts, but we would work through that. The more important thing now was giving Renesmee a safe place to live along with helping her feel safe, but for me it was more than that.

"You are very naughty and I don't like you anymore." The anger in my little girl's voice, along with a thud interrupted my thoughts, and was enough of an incentive to put an end my daughter's private time.

"What happened?" As I entered her room I found Renesmee looking down at one of the dolls Rosalie had gotten for her, an angry expression on her small face. That look was something new.

"Violet says wolf people are mean."

I walked over and picked the doll up, relieved to find that she wasn't broken. Even if Renesmee was angry at her doll, I didn't want to see it harmed for fear of having my little girl upset later. "Do you think throwing her down is the right way to handle things?"

"I'm mad at her," Renesmee shrieked, causing my ears to ring. At that same moment I heard Edward pause before he continued talking to Carlisle. I threw my shield. _I've got this._

It would be just like him to come up and try and take over, and most of the time I let him, but for now I needed to try and handle the more difficult aspects of caring for our daughter.

Renesmee stared up at me with an angry pucker on her lips and I took a breath.

"First of all you don't need to yell even when you are angry. I can hear you fine if you talk normal. Now what do you think we should do about Violet, besides throwing her on the floor?" As I looked down at my baby, I couldn't help but find that all I wanted to do was give her the answers and be in control. Renesmee was still a baby in many ways, but there was so much more to her, and I knew trying to solve problems for her wouldn't work.

"I don't want to play with her."

When she began to turn away from me, I got down on my knees and turned her back. "You don't have to play with her, but I want to talk about why you are angry."

She sighed, before putting her small hand against my cheek, showing me a memory she had from a long time ago. What she shared wasn't something I could see, but something she heard. In my mind there was darkness, but I could hear the angry words of Leah Clearwater with near perfect clarity. My own memories were faded, foggy human ones. But I remembered that time, and the anguish I'd felt when Leah pranced into the big house, yelling at me for all the pain I had caused Jacob at the time. Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed my daughter could have heard that, and months later fret over such a thing, but now it was something I would have to face with her. I stood up bringing Renesmee with me as I walked to her bed and sat down. "When did you start thinking about that?"

Her small shoulders rose and fell in a shrug as she rested her cheek against my chest. "None of us knew why I wanted Jake around back then, and it certainly wasn't so I could hurt him like Leah said. Jacob wasn't mean to me at all."

Without lifting her cheek from my chest, Renesmee reached up and placed her hand against my own cheek, letting me hear a specific part of Leah's tirade. _"I hope that Jacob hates you with all the feeling he has. All he ever did was protect you, and now you tear his heart out." _

"But Jacob loves us doesn't he?" I wasn't sure what I could say, or what she needed to hear from me. Now I desperately wished Edward could hear her thoughts and I considered throwing the shield, but as I listened I could still hear him talking to Carlisle, venting, and decided for now to keep this between my daughter and me.

The next thing I saw in my mind was one of few times Jacob had taken Renesmee to La Push, to first beach. They had flown a kite during a rare sunny day and it was a happy memory.

"Momma, does he really love us?"

I lifted Renesmee and sat her on my lap facing me, tilting her head up so she would look at me. "Jacob loves you very much and he is a part of this family. Would you like to call and talk to him?"

When she nodded her head I smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. In my bedroom I picked up my cell and gave it to her. "Push and hold in the button with the five on it."

She did and put it to her ear.

When Billy answered, she froze and I took the phone. "Billy this is Bella, is Jake around?"

"Hi Bella, hold on a second."

As we waited I carried her to the window looking out as I gently swayed with Renesmee in my arms.

"Bella?"

I felt a guilty pang in my deadened heart as I realized how much I had missed hearing my friend's voice. "Hey Jake someone wants to talk to you." I put the phone to Renesmee's ear and in a moment she was chatting up a storm, struggling for me to let her down. Once on her own two feet Renesmee left the room, sliding past Edward as he came in. Now it was my turn to share and not shut him out.

"What was she worried about?" he asked cautiously as he arrived by my side. It sounded like he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"She remembered that time Leah exploded into the big house yelling at me. Evidently she heard what was said very clearly and somehow got that wolf people were mean."

Edward shook his head and I was surprised to see a grin on his face. "What are you not saying?"

"I don't know which of us was ready to kill her first, me or Rosalie. We were both anxious to do that, but neither of us wanted to start a war."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around him before he put his around me. "I was so afraid both of you would do that, actually all of you. I'm just glad we are beyond that, but why is Renesmee thinking about this now?"

I felt Edward's arms draw me in closer. "A day ago I would have been able to tell you that." There was regret in his otherwise steady voice, and I felt protective of him.

"I guess we get to do parenting the old fashioned way for the most part, which means we have to worry like every other parent and only hear the things Renesmee is willing to share with us." Even now we could listen in to what she was saying to Jacob, but again both of us knew we had to give her privacy. I for one didn't want her to resent us later, when she figured out that we could hear her if we chose too.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

"She said Momma was selfish and mean and that she wanted you to hate my Momma forever and now Violet thinks wolf peoples are very mean."

I sat down hard on my bed, having never guessed that Nessie would have heard all of that. Seth and I both knew what had gone on that day I took the Vanquish for a long drive, but hearing it told by Nessie brought back all the feelings of anger I had felt that day. "Nessie that was a very long time ago and none of it matters anymore, okay?"

I heard her sniffing and shut my eyes, grabbing at my long hair with my free hand. "Do you want me to talk to Violet?" I wasn't sure who that was, but if it made Nessie feel better I would do that in a heart beat.

"No she's in quiet time. When are you coming here?"

That was the question of all questions. I had been debating that each and ever day I woke up since they left. "I haven't figured that out yet, besides I figured you guys would like to have time alone without me stinking the place up." My attempt to make her laugh worked, well she giggled at any rate.

"Momma says you're family, and I miss you, and you don't have to stay for always," she whispered.

"Let me talk to your Mom for starters." On her end, I heard the phone drop, and the patter of her feet as she left what ever room she was in.

"Jake?"

"Well are you guys ready for me to stink up the house?" Before she answered I heard something cover the phone, but still heard what Bella was saying. "Go help Daddy fix your dinner."

"Sorry about that. I think a visit would be good. I'm just not sure about when. We have some things to iron out."

Not afraid to be nosy I flat out asked, "What things?"

Bella sighed. "Edward can't hear her thoughts and he's trying to deal with that loss."

A big stupid grin came over my face, and I knew for me what that meant, at least if that lasted say into Nessie's adulthood.

"Jacob Black, stop having those kinds of thoughts about my baby. We don't know if this is going to last, it may just be a temporary thing due to all the ciaos we put into Renesmee's life."

For now I composed myself. "So Edward will figure it out, but what does that have to do with me coming to see her, sounds like she's ready for that and I'm about to drive my pack to insanity here Bells." I worked on sounding pathetic, because most of the time with Bella, that worked, or it had when she was human.

There was silence on the other end and I wondered if our call got disconnected. "Bella?"

"I'm here. Let me talk to Edward after Renesmee goes to sleep. I'll call you back later on."

"Sure, sure."

"Bye Jacob." The call ended and I took the portable phone back to the base and hung it up.

Billy wasn't there and I was glad, it would give me time to think things through, but I really didn't need to. One way or the other I was going up there, and this time I would come back, but I wasn't sure beyond that what I would do.

**~*~*~*~*~**

***: **_That part of Edwards Memory was from a one-shot I wrote called __**Letting go and Trusting**__._

**AN:** _Sorry it took so long to update, but life has been busy and once again I didn't want to rush this. I'm not going to put a time constraint on updates. I don't really know from one chapter to the next when one will come up but I'm really enjoying writing this and taking my time, I just hope all of you won't flog me for the long time in between. At any rate thanks for the reviews on the last chapter and thanks to all of you who have taken the time to check out this story and any other ones I've written in the past. Stay tuned for the next update and Jacobs visit**.**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Visitors**

Even though I had a few months to decide on attending college this year or not, I found myself looking through the material Dartmouth had sent us. If it all worked out well, we would live here for the next four years, enough time for me to finish my education before we had to move on. As I sat at the table looking over the pamphlet with all the classes and the descriptions, I chewed on my bottom lip. There was so much to choose from, even as a freshman, and I had never really thought about what field of study I would go into until now. How did all of that really work out anyway? I would always look like I was eighteen, so getting a job and keeping one for a long period of time was out of the question.

Two small hands on my lap temporally distracted me, and still reading over the requirements for Freshman Literature, I lifted Renesmee up and settled her on my lap. Her hair was still damp from the bath Edward had given her and her small arms clutched around Jack and her favorite pink blanket.

Renesmee touched my neck with her hand and I saw an image of us now and the pamphlet on the table. "When Grandma and Grandpa Carlisle move into their house, I might go to the school and take a few courses."

Again she touched my neck showing me Dartmouth's campus the day we drove around town. "That's right. I think Daddy and I will both go this year."

"Do I get to go?"

I tilted my head forward and kissed the top of hers, breathing in the strawberry scent of her shampoo as well as her unique smell. "Not until you are through growing, but I think Grandpa Carlisle is going to start teaching you this fall while Daddy and I are in class."

"Can Jacob go too?"

Since talking to Jake two nights ago, Renesmee had been bring him up more and more. Edward and I were still weighing out the pros and cons of Jacob visiting us so soon after our move, and in light of Edward's inability to hear Renesmee's thoughts. Not hearing her thoughts was still something that he was coping with and I wasn't sure having Jacob around would be such a great idea. "We'll talk about that later," I said, noticing the lateness of the hour.

Up in Renesmee's room I waited as she crawled into bed, and when she was ready I got Peter Pan and sat down, leaning back on the pillows against the headboard.

"I don't want that one," Renesmee whispered as she rested her head against my chest, with her small body nestled beside me.

"Which do you want to hear?"

She yawned, quiet for a moment as she rubbed her eyes. "The first day you met my Daddy."

If I had to choose which memory to share with my daughter, I wasn't sure this was the one. That day had been oddly frustrating, because at the time I didn't know what Edward's problem was. "Well, that was my first day of going to Forks High school."

My baby yawned again. "Were you scared?"

"No not really afraid. I was tired because the rain had kept me awake, and I wasn't used to that."

"Did Daddy like you?"

That was a tough question to answer. "Not at first."

As admitted that truth Renesmee lifted her head up, looking at me with a puzzled expression on her face.

"I smelled very good to your Daddy, and he didn't like that I made him feel hungry," I explained, finding that it was easy to put it into terms she might understand.

"Daddy wanted to have you for lunch?" Renesmee asked as she began to giggle.

I wasn't sure why she suddenly found that funny, but it was better than her being frightened. Once the giggling stopped Renesmee resumed resting with her head against my chest.

"Well after that day I didn't see him again until a few days later."

Renesmee's steady breathing stopped me from telling her anymore, but instead of getting up to leave her I stayed where I was, letting the flutter of my little girls heart and the fact that she was in my arms comfort me. Thinking about Forks was still painful, and bringing up those old memories brought back fairly clear images of Charlie's house and my first few weeks with him. I missed cooking for him and cleaning the house, wondering if Sue was still looking after my father. Tomorrow I would call and check in.

As I rested in Renesmee's bed I thought about college, and along with that my education. Again I found myself thinking about what I would do with a degree that I might not ever use. If I had to pick a major it would be in English. I loved all of the classics, and I as I thought about the list of stories like that, I found myself wondering if my daughter would like the classics as well.

I looked at the door a moment before it opened, smiling as my husband walked over to us.

"I saw the pamphlets on the table."

I knew Edward wanted me to experience college life, and this time around at least, it wouldn't be all out dorm life. Several reasons popped into mind why we couldn't, and I found I wasn't really worried about losing control. "I was thinking about some of those literature courses."

He nodded, smiling as he reached over me, resting his hand on Renesmee's cheek for a moment. "You will need to take a Freshman English Course first," he said, something I had figured out from reading class requirements.

"I know, I'm kind of disappointed by that, but I can do reading on the side. Do they have a list of books available for the upper level courses?"

When he didn't answer I looked up at him, finding his gaze focused on our baby. Edward was quiet as he watched her sleep, while his hand still rested lightly against her small cheek. "Nothing?"

"Not one thought," he sighed, moving his hand away from her to rest against the top of mine.

It was hard to listen to the pain in his voice and I wished we could figure out a way to know why this sudden loss had taken place. "What did Carlisle find?"

"Nahuel said that some gifts show up as they grow and develop, so maybe she does have your ability. I still feel like something is missing now," Edward admitted sullenly as he stood up.

I followed his lead, carefully rolling Renesmee on her left side as I got up. We tucked her in, giving her kisses before we headed downstairs.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

After looking over the courses again I joined Edward in our family room, and for a while we were comfortable to sit in companionable silence. "Maybe going to college isn't what is best for me," I said.

"Why do you think that? If you are worried about being around other people, we can always find a way for you to study from home," Edward urged.

I moved to face him placing my hands on his knees. "I'm not worried about losing control, but I just don't see the reason now. I'm always going to look like I'm eighteen, and I don't mind that, but I never really considered how that might affect having a job in the future."

"Bella, you don't need to worry about having a job. I think as smart as you are, you might actually find that being there will stimulate your mind, and what happened to your thoughts about having an English Major."

I really did want that for myself, but not to be able to put that knowledge to use seemed like a waste.

Edward seemed to be able to read my mind without me throwing my shield. "You don't have to worry about putting that knowledge to use. If you want, you could always publish a book, or teach a class with younger students."

"Maybe not teaching," I said, looking down as he lifted my left hand up, twining his fingers with mine.

"We have another month before you need to make a decision and I think…" Suddenly Edward was on his feet and I found myself behind him. For a moment he stood as still as a statue before relaxing.

My own senses were heightened, and I smelled an all too familiar scent a moment before the sliding door opened and Jacob stepped in.

"Surprise," he said.

For a moment I wasn't sure how to react. The last time we talked, I told him that now wasn't the time to come for a visit, but now that he was here I found myself happy to see my friend. "Jacob, did you travel here on foot?"

"Well, four paws actually," he corrected as Edward shook his head, kissing me before he left us alone.

"What happened to waiting for us to call?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as he shut the door behind him.

"Well I figured if I did leave it to you, I'd never get anywhere, and besides if it doesn't work out I can always go back. I'm not here to stay forever," he said looking down at the carpeted floor and his bare feet.

Jacob was dressed in a pair of cut offs and a shirt, and I realized there wasn't anything else with him. "Didn't you pack anything?"

"Sure, sure, I left my stuff outside. I figured it would be better for me to sleep there."

Already I was shaking my head. "You do realize when Renesmee finds you're here, you won't get that choice." When I said her name his whole face lit up and I led him through the kitchen, and down the hall to the foyer and the stairs. Once we were at the door to her room I left him, knowing Jacob would want time alone with my baby, besides I wanted to find out where my husband had suddenly disappeared too.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

The first thing I noticed as I stood by her bed was that Nessie had grown. It wasn't by too much, but she was taller. I couldn't help but smile as I saw Jack cuddled in her arms, glad that she still kept a part of me with her. Okay so it was a stuffed animal that I had gotten for her, but the key was that he was from me, kind of a reminder.

I took in a deep breath, finding that the house and her room didn't smell nearly as bad of vampire as the Cullen house back in Forks. The strongest smell was Nessie's own unique scent mixed in with the smell of strawberries. I sat down on the edge of her mattress and put my hand on her back, rubbing it lightly over her. After dreaming of Nessie while I slept, and waking up to find it was just a dream, I needed to touch her to make sure I was really here.

She continued to sleep, and I yawned realized how tired I was. The past two and a half nights of travel had caught up with me, and I felt like I could sleep for the next few days. I debated on going back outside to get my things, but in the end I decided to get them later and after phasing, something I could do easily in her large room, I curled up on her floor and fell into a much needed rest.

***~*~*~*~*~~***

Even before opening my eyes and becoming fully awake, I was aware I was being watched. Once they were opened my eyes focused on the little girl sitting on the bed I rested next too. A huge grin spread across her face as she realized it was me, and before I could do anymore than shake my head, Nessie had launched out of her bed thudding onto my back as she hugged around my neck. "You came," she whispered.

I barked softly in response as she slid off my back. Nessie had her arms crossed over her chest and I knew what she wanted. I barked softly again turning my head toward her door. If I was going to phase back into my human form, she needed to be out of the room at least until I could get dressed again.

Fortunately Nessie seemed to get that, and skipped out closing the door behind her. Once I was standing I focused on my body, and with practiced ease I phased back into my human self, quickly dressing before realizing that my bag of clothes had been brought inside. After putting on a black t-shirt along with a pair of cut offs I started toward the door which opened, and a moment later Nessie was in my arms hugging tight around my neck.

"I missed you," she whispered as I felt wetness against my shoulder.

"Hey, no crying. I'm here now and I'm going to stay for as long as you need me." My pack was in good hands. I had left Quil in charge along with Seth, and would check in with them on a regular basis. I had offered to leave Leah in charge of my pack but she had declined, seeming perplexed that I was leaving so soon.

When Nessie's stomach growled I shifted her against my right hip and headed downstairs, already smelling something good coming from the kitchen. I wasn't surprised in the least bit to find both Bella and Edward cooking breakfast, and to call what they had made breakfast was an understatement. There was a little of everything, bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes, waffles and fruit. "I'm not sure I can eat all of that," I said as I sat down, settling Nessie on my lap. I had the feeling she wouldn't let me go quite yet, and to be honest I wasn't ready to let her go.

"That's okay, what ever you don't eat we will put away for later," Bella answered.

I reached out and filled my plate with everything, save for the fruit. After putting a large amount of maple syrup on my waffles and pancakes I dug in.

Nessie shifted on my lap looking up at me as I chewed up the large bite of food and swallowed it. "You can have anything on my plate that looks good to you." I was surprised that she was eating human food, and watched her glancing over the contents of my plate before reaching out and pulling off a peace of syrupy pancake putting it in her mouth.

For a moment I thought Nessie was going to eat it, but she began to shake her head and Edward came over with a napkin, letting her spit it out.

A moment later Bella came over with a bowl of cereal and Nessie dug into that without any hesitation.

"So um, what do you two have planed today?" I asked, knowing that I had likely ruined anything they might have wanted to do.

"Actually since its overcast today, Bella and I need to head into town. We were hoping you might be willing to baby-sit."

From the tone in his voice I could tell Edward still wasn't pleased at my abrupt arrival, and had to control my thoughts, not wanting Nessie to get upset if we were to get into an argument. "Sure, sure," I answered, taking another bite of pancake while Bella began to clean up and put the leftovers in storage containers.

"Daddy, I want to show Jacob Little Bear."

Edward walked over and kissed the top of Nessie's head. "I want you two to stay in the yard until we come back."

Nessie sighed but nodded, taking another bite of her cereal as Bella put her purple sippy cup down beside her bowl. I glanced around the kitchen realizing everything was already clean, and tried not to find that too unsettling, they were after all vampires with inhuman speed.

Once we finished our breakfast, Nessie and I cleaned my plate and her bowl and raced upstairs to her room. This time I had to wait out in the hall while Nessie got dressed, which was new. Back home I was allowed to help her dress, but I guess she was embarrassed by that now.

"Jake, I need you to keep her around the house. I'm not comfortable with her going into the woods especially now that I can't hear what she is thinking." Edward wasn't anywhere near me, but my hearing picked up what he was saying just fine. I wondered why he needed to tell me this again but shrugged

_I'll keep her safe, you should know that_, I thought. I wasn't all that happy that we couldn't go see her little bear, but again I wanted this visit to be successful, so I would do what Edward wanted even if I didn't agree.

"All ready," Nessie called out.

In her room I found her wearing a ballet outfit of some sort, holding out a pair of butterfly wings. I knelt down next to her and helped her put them on. "Are you allowed to play outside in this?"

"I am, but I have to wear my slippers."

A moment later she was on my back, and was laughing as I bounced her down the stairs, coming face to face with Bella and Edward. She reached for Edward and he took her off my back, hugging her close as he shut his eyes. I noticed how pained his expression was and suppressed my thoughts. I did feel bad for him, thinking about not being able to see Renesmee's thoughts when she shared them with me. That would be agony.

"Be good for Jacob, do what he tells you." Edward whispered as Nessie lifted her head from his shoulder.

"I will be very good Daddy," she promised as Bella took her and hugged her.

"You are not to ask Jacob to go see Little Bear."

"Momma I won't do that," she said kissing Bella's cheek before she leaned back toward me.

Once Nessie was in my arms we walked out onto the front porch, waving at them as they got in the car. Edward put it in gear and when the car disappeared Nessie struggled to be let down. "Jacob lets play hide and seek."

"Sounds good to me, do you want to take off your wings?"

"I'm a faery today," she said, pulling me further out of the house. I pulled the door too and let her lead me to the back yard.

"You count to hundred and I get to hide."

As Nessie started to leave, I reached out and lightly grasped around her arm. "Stay around the house, I don't want you stepping one foot in the woods."

Nessie sighed, rolling her eyes before I let her go. I shut my eyes listening for her to maybe break the rules since Edward wasn't here, but to her credit Nessie stayed where she was supposed to.

"One Hundred," I shouted after finishing my counting. I already knew she was up in a tree, one that was close to the woods but not in them. My guess was that Nessie knew I could find her easily, but I decided to put effort into really searching. "Hmm, where could Nessie be?" I said loud enough for her to hear me as I began to look in silly places. I pulled the lid off of a garage can, hearing her giggle lightly as I rummaged through that mess. "Not here."

I kept that game up until she was laughing, and when I looked up I only had a moment to think before Nessie leapt out of the tree. I caught her easily and hugged her close. "No more leaping out of trees," I said, once she and I had calmed down.

Nessie put her hand on my neck and showed me a time she had pulled a deer on top of her body by accident. It was evident that she hadn't been hurt, but Nessie was still partly human and I wasn't willing to let anything happen to her on my watch.

"I know you're strong, but we don't know that one day you won't get hurt by doing something crazy, and do you want your Daddy mad at me?"

Nessie gasped and hugged me tight. "No, I won't do it again," she whispered.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Even with an overcast day, walking around Dartmouth's Campus with my wife holding my right hand, was a relaxing experience. This time of year it wasn't as packed as when school was in session, but there were enough people around to glance our way. What I liked about being here was that not a lot of people gossiped. It wasn't like being in Forks, where our every move seemed to be monitored by the students and people around town.

"So where are we headed?" Bella finally asked, giving my hand a light squeeze.

"I thought you might like to have a look at the library. You wanted to know about any reading you might want to do for upper level courses, and I think you might like seeing all that is available."

When we were in front of Baker Berry Library my wife stopped, looking at the large building and the large area of green land on which it sat.

"Edward it's so beautiful here. I don't think I'm going to be able to stay away for very long," Bella admitted.

All I could do was smile in response. Bella would likely spend all of her time here if we didn't have a daughter to care for, and upon thinking of Renesmee I felt the guilt swelling up as well as the urge to go home and make sure the Dog was taking good care of her. My greatest fear about Jake watching my little girl was that Renesmee would be able to convince him to go into the woods.

"Don't worry about Renesmee, Jacob won't let any harm come to her."

I looked into my wife's amber eyes, finding the excitement still there and leaned in, kissing her briefly on the lips. "You are right I need to give him a little more credit, just don't let him know that," I teased feeling joy as she laughed. It was the first time Bella had done that in quite a while and once we were both more composed I took her hand and led the way to the library, ready to spend some time alone with the woman that I loved.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Patrolling our lands wasn't nearly as fun as it had been a few months back. I could do it with my eyes shut because there was no threat around.

_That might be true Brady, but you still have a job to do. _I knew Quil was right, but it was still annoying. Focusing on my job, I began to run west of the reservation, trying to keep my mind on what I was doing when I came across it. The smell wasn't anything I had ever experienced and as I began to focus something hurdled into me. It was another wolf, but not one of us. He managed to pin me down and tried to bite my neck, but I let instinct take over and pushed him off charging after him as he came after me.

_Brady do not attack, defend only. Sam and I are on the way_, Quil thought as the other wolf snapped at me sinking his teeth above my right front leg. It hurt and I was ashamed to feel fear as I tried to back of. The other wolf was advancing toward me then he stopped, sniffed the air and took off.

I shook my head and tried taking a step, but it hurt like hell and a yelped, lifting my right leg off the ground so I didn't have to put any pressure on it.

_Brady_. Seth was there in his wolf form and I felt my leg burning. _Another wolf but he wasn't one of us_, I thought, trying not to focus to much on the pain.

_Don't worry. Quil Sam and the rest of our packs are going after him. We need to go back to the Village. _

_I'm not sure I can make it this really hurts_, I admitted feeling ashamed again for what had happened.

_Can you phase back? _

Why hadn't I thought of that? When I did I felt the world spinning around me right before everything went black.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**AN: **_I hope you all liked what you read. I was able to write this without too much trouble and I think the rest of the story should come along much quicker. Thanks to everyone who has read my story thus far, I hope you will stick around for much more.  
_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Serious Decisions**

Seeing Nessie happy was worth leaving my pack for a few weeks. For the past half hour Nessie and I had been playing hide and seek, and as luck would have it Edward called saying he and Bella wouldn't be home until later in the evening. That was fine by me. The more time I had alone with Nessie the better. At the moment Nessie was calling the shots, and only once had complained about not going to see her little bear.

On Nessie's bed I sat watching her pulling dress-up clothes from an old steam trunk, hoping she wouldn't want me to wear any of the growing pile of items on the floor. I remembered teasing Quil about the pictures taken of him at Claire's third birthday, and back then I couldn't understand how he could stand that kind of humiliation. Now that I was in his shoes, I completely got him, and why it was so hard to say no.

"Jacob, you need this one," Nessie told me as she walked over and put a frilly yellow scarf on my lap.

"Ok, um, what do you want me to do here?"

Nessie crinkled her forehead, and her lips puckered as she thought about my question.

"You wear it round your neck." Once that decision was made, she went back to getting more clothes out of the trunk. I did what she wanted, hoping Edward and Bella wouldn't choose this moment to show up.

After Nessie had put a pink scarf around her neck, along with wearing a fancy dress that swallowed her up, she walked in front of me and took my hand. "We have to go see the Faeries."

"Where are they?"

"A secret, you gots to shut your eyes."

Suddenly I was weary of where Nessie might be headed. "Is it someplace we can go?"

"Secret places," Nessie whispered as I stood up, letting her guide me out of her room and down the stairs.

"Eyes shut Jacob," she demanded with a huff.

"I'll shut them, if you promise not to go into the forest."

When she shook her head I stopped walking with her. "Come on Nessie, we've had a good time so far, and I for one don't want to be on your Daddy's bad side."

At the bottom step Nessie sat down and covered her face with her hands. "Daddy has lots of worries," she whispered as I took a seat to her left.

"You are very special to him, to all of us, and it's hard not to be protective of you."

As Nessie reached up with her left hand, I tilted my head down until she could touch my cheek. The image in my mind was an old one, a memory I would rather forget. It was that day we stood in the field, watching as the Volturi marched toward us. A day I thought I would have to take Nessie away from everyone and go into hiding. Nessie ran through the entire event up until Bella lifted her from my back, hugging her because we had won. I gathered from that memory, Nessie wanted me to realize nothing bad had happened since then.

"When your Momma and Daddy get back, we can talk about going to see the Faeries. Do you think your friends will let us visit them in your back yard?"

"Maybe we go tomorrow," Nessie answered, as she reached up and removed a frilly hat from her head.

She didn't sound upset but seemed tired, and I realized then that it was getting late. "Hey, why don't I fix up a bubble bath for you? I remember how much you liked them back at the old house."

"Ok, but you have to wait till I am in the bubbles, cause my parts are private," Nessie informed as she got up and took my hand.

It wasn't easy to keep composed, nor was it easy to hide the shock at realizing that Ness was worried about me seeing her without clothes on. She was changing so much and it wasn't until now that it really hit home for me. When I did leave, how long could I stay away, worrying about how much she would change while we were apart? I wasn't really sure that I _could_ stay away from her.

"Jacob, you're not paying my attention," Nessie said softly as she tugged on my hand, pulling my thoughts back to her. We were in a fancy bathroom with a sunken tub, something I had never seen before now.

"Is this your parent's bathroom?"

"Yes, it's the best bath tub too."

While I turned on the water Nessie disappeared, but was quickly back carrying a clear plastic bottle with pink bubble bath inside. "Strawberry smells good sometimes," Nessie informed as she yawned.

I took it from her, pouring a cap full into the water. Before I could put the bottle down, Nessie was guiding me out of the bathroom. "Wait here please," she whispered as she shut the door.

While waiting I leaned against the wall, wondering how things were going back home. Once Nessie was asleep for the night, and Bella and Edward were here, I would phase and check in with Sam.

Not much time had passed before Nessie was calling for me, and when I walked back into the bathroom all I could see was bubbles. "Nessie?"

Nothing, no giggling and no answer, but that didn't concern me because it was clear how much she loved being in the bath. "Did the bubble monster eat you up?"

That should have gotten some sort of reaction from her, but again Nessie didn't say anything or respond to me. I felt the blood drain from my face as I realized that all I heard was her heart beating and no breathing. "Crap, Nessie this isn't funny stand up so I know your okay!" I exclaimed, making it to the side of the tub in one step. My large hands made quick work of clearing away the bubbles and what I saw stopped my own heart from beating for a fraction of a second. Nessie was face down under water, and that was all it took for me to go into action while a million thoughts ran through my head. _Why on my watch?_

As I grasped around her small torso, Nessie pushed up out of the water trying to wiggle away from me, and that's when I realized I had overreacted.

Even though Nessie struggled, not realizing yet how freaked out I was, there was no way for me to let her go. In spite of getting totally soaked I held her in my arms, grabbing a towel to put around her as I did.

When Nessie's chocolate brown eyes found mine, and saw how out of sorts I was, the smile left her lips and a pout formed there. "I made you afraid," she whispered.

I sat down on the floor holding her cradled in my arms. "Yeah you did, but your safe and that's okay," I answered, hating that my voice sounded so shaky.

A single tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away with the back of my finger. "No crying." Gently I kissed her little cheek, feeling relieved and suddenly exhausted.

Her small hand pressed to my cheek, and in my mind I saw us in her old room sharing a story. For the moment I ignored the fact that the water needed to be let out of the tub, and took Nessie to her room. This time she wanted help getting dressed, and after Nessie used the potty we snuggled up in her bed, her small body resting against the length of mine.

"Jacob, tell me about Momma."

Before answering her I yawned, and she lifted her head looking at me before I could close my mouth.

"You have big teeth," Nessie observed.

"I need them."

"Did Momma always know about wolf peoples?"

There was a time when I didn't believe in the legends of my people and Bella was the first of the two of us to find out just how true they really were. Was it my place to tell Nessie about this, or should I have her ask Bella sometime later?

"Please?"

"No, she found out not long after I phased for the first time." Maybe if I just answered Nessie's questions that would be enough.

"My Daddy didn't like that I bet," Nessie said through a yawn, as she rested her very wet head against my chest. I realized then that I should have gotten up and dried her hair a little better, but she was comfortable and I still felt bad for my overreaction.

"You're Daddy and I didn't like your Momma being around danger."

"You friends now," Nessie murmured sleepily.

"Yep."

"Me and you always gets to be friends," Nessie mumbled.

"Always," I agreed as I rubbed my hand over her back.

For a moment I thought Nessie had fallen asleep, but she lifted her head. "You stay here till I'm awake again."

"I will."

Satisfied that I would, Nessie was out in seconds. Once she was good and asleep I did get up, and tucked her in without waking her.

Earlier in the day Bella showed me the office upstairs where she had put my things, and it was there that I changed into some dry clothes. I was still tired, but I had to wait up for them to get back and see what was going on with the pack.

Downstairs I grabbed a bag of chips from the cupboard in the kitchen, and poured a glass of coke before going into the den. The big screen TV was calling my name, and I found a sports channel and got lost in that, while mindlessly eating the chips and trying to forget about what happened earlier with Nessie

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

I must have drifted off, because the next thing that caught my attention was a cold hand on my arm. "Hey Bells," I said before opening my eyes.

When she didn't answer, I did open them, finding both Bella and Edward in front of me. The expressions on their faces were neutral, but there was something wrong. "What's going on?"

"You need to call Billy." Bella finally answered, and those words alone had me on my feet before anyone could blink.

"Why, what do you know that I don't?"

"Brady was badly injured," Edward answered in a grave tone.

All I could think about was the Volturi, but to my relief Edward shook his head.

Bella's hand lifted mine from my side and she pressed a cell into it, holding mine as it began to shake. It was hard for me to think and when she pulled at the phone, I let her take it. This is what I got for leaving. Because I was here, one of my brothers was suffering, all because I was selfish with what I wanted.

"Jacob?" The phone was being pressed to my ear and all the confusion and worry left as the Alpha in me took over. "What happened?"

Billy sounded as worried as I had felt moments ago. "They were running patrols when Brady came upon a scent none of us have ever encountered. There was another wolf, but not one of us. He attacked Brady and bit into his shoulder. The bite was venomous and if it weren't for Carlisle we would have lost him."

"Tell Quil and Sam I'm on my way."

"Son, they have things under control for now, and no one blames you for any of this."

"They should." We said our goodbyes, and when I hung up Bella had all of my things gathered for me, and Edward was on his cell.

The gravity of the situation hit me then, and I sat down hard on the sofa where I had just been sleeping. "Nessie?"

My best friend sat down next to me, wrapping her stone arm around as much of me as she could. "Edward and I will explain this to her, and once you take care of things at home you are welcome to come back.

That was the problem, as much as it would kill me to be away from Nessie, and not get to watch her grow up; I knew that I would never again leave my pack, not even for a few days. Since our almost fight with the Volturi, my pack along with Sam's was more well known, at least among legendary figures as Bella put it, and this attack proved that none of us could keep our guard down, not ever. "If you don't mind, I want to be able to explain this to her myself. I owe Nessie that much."

It was Edward who answered. "Jake, I purchased a ticket for you to take a flight back across country. You will get there faster. It leaves in the morning at nine."

Normally, Edward doing something without asking me would have set me off, but in light of the situation I found I was grateful. "My first time in a plane," I mumbled as I wrapped my arm around Bella. The smell was still repulsive but we had all gotten used to that, and it didn't bother us as much. "I guess if you don't mind I'm going to go crash with Nessie, I promised to be there when she woke up."

"Everything will be okay," Bella said.

I let go of her and stood up, walking numbly through the hall to the foyer and up the stairs. Morning was going to be here all too soon, and I needed to sleep or at least be in a quiet place to think about how I was going to explain this to Nessie.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Small fingers combing through my hair woke me, and Nessie's smiling face greeted me along with my own sadness, which I had managed to escape for a few hours while I slept.

"Jacob you need hair cuts," Nessie told me as she sat fully upright on my chest.

"You don't like it long?" I wondered how much time we had, and wished they had a clock in here, but it was still dark outside so hopefully we had some time before I had to go. "Ness, we need to talk."

"We are silly Jake."

"Right, but there is something I have to explain to you, and it's going to really be hard for both of us."

Nessie's brows drew together as they normally did when she had to think about something, and her shoulders slumped when she figured out that this was serious. "I need to be strong for you don't I?"

There wasn't a trace of sadness in her voice, and it was strange to hear something so mature coming from her. This wasn't fair. Her life wasn't fair, and I felt the sadness ready to engulf me, but that wasn't going to happen here. "We both have to be. Ness, I have to go back to Fork's today. My Pack needs me."

"You don't have to worry Jacob, Momma and Daddy will help me if I get too sad."

She put her hand on my cheek and I covered hers with my own. "How did you get to be so smart?"

"I just am."

All I could do then was pull her against me, and hug her close. This would be the hardest thing I would ever have to face, even worse than when I thought Bella was gone, worse than that day in the forest when I found out she had chosen Edward over me. It would be worse because being away from Nessie was taking a part of me away, and though I had imprinted on her, there was no guarantee that this separation wouldn't work against us. Nessie would adjust to not having me around better than me not having her, and maybe one day she would meet someone else.

"Jacob we need to leave in an hour," Bella called from the door.

Her voice broke into my thoughts as did Nessie's struggle to be put down. I sat up and lowered her to the floor, watching as she ran to Bella, leaping into her arms. "Momma we have to be strong," she whispered, before burying her face against Bella's neck.

**~*~*~*~*~**

The drive to the airport was quiet. It was still dark which was why Edward and Bella could take me. In her safety seat next to me, Nessie was quiet as she held onto my hand. Not once had she shed a tear and I wondered again how Ness could handle all of this. A part of me wished Edward could hear her thoughts, because I was already worried Nessie would keep this all inside, causing her harm. "You know you don't have to be so strong," I said softly.

Instead of words, Nessie used her thoughts, showing me the conversation we had this morning. It was as if she was trying to be responsible for the crap we were all putting her through, or maybe she was just tired of being so sad. Maybe I could learn from that.

"You have to call me sometimes," Nessie whispered.

"More than sometimes," I promised, kissing her small hand.

She sighed and turned her head to look out the window. There was just a hint of daylight, and I realized we were at the airport as Edward pulled the car up to the curb. Once the car stopped I got Nessie out of her seat, and she gave me a short hug and a kiss. "You can't be sad Jacob, you gots to be strong for all my friends."

There was a serious expression on her small face, and I nearly lost it there as I kissed her cheeks. "I will try my best not to be, but it's going to be pretty hard."

Outside, it was already warm as I opened the door and got out, holding Nessie against my left hip. On the other side of the car Bella and Edward waited, and when we got close enough Nessie leaned out toward her dad.

Once she was in his arms I took the suitcase Bella had exchanged for my ratty old duffel, and gave her a one armed hug. "Watch out for her."

"We will," Bella whispered, as Edward pointed out a few things to Nessie just a few feet away.

"So I check my bags and head to Terminal C?"

"Yes, and we gave you enough money to grab something to eat on your lay over in Atlanta."

It was time, and as Edward returned to us, Nessie looked past me. "Strong?"

Nessie's eyes locked on mine, and she offered me a true smile. "Yes Jacob."

I hugged them all goodbye and headed into the airport, filling my mind with the images I had gotten from Sam when I phased briefly last night. Brady was on the mend and the wolf who had attacked him was a true Werewolf. There was no rhyme or reason for the attack, and Alice hadn't seen anything from Volterra. No one knew how this wolf had survived on his own, and the theory was word had gotten around, and he had come to check us out.

Once I found my way to the terminal, I sat down trying to figure out what we needed to do when I got back. The smart thing would be to try and track down this wolf and see if there were others like him. If we didn't find him, and even if we did, both my pack and Sam's would be pulling double duty again, at least until we knew that our people and the surrounding communities would be safe.

"Good Morning. In just a few minutes we will start the boarding procedures for flight 257 to Atlanta…" That was my flight, and for now I would have to focus on that and plan later while I was on the plane.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

**AN:_ Hi everyone. I'm truly sorry for such a long wait in between posts. I had a difficult time writing this chapter trying to decide how long Jacob would stay. I know this seems like another down and out chapter or what will come with this, but want to assure you that it's not as bad as it seems. It won't be easy for Nessie and Jacob but at the same time I'm at least ready to show another side to Nessie and the complex little character that I perceive her to be. I'm hopeful that this won't take as long for updates but I don't know yet I have some medical problems going on which is normal for me I guess so we shall see. _**

_**A huge thanks to all of you who have stuck with me thus far and to all of you who have been gracious enough to add me to your favorites lists and allert lists. I hope you will stick around to see what happens. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read. **_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Nessie's way of Life**

Saying goodbye to Jacob was a very hard thing for me. He is my most best friend, but he has my other wolf people to take care of. If I couldn't be strong, that would be harder for him and make him feel sadder than I could ever do. We watched him go into the airport till we couldn't see him, and daddy put me in my seat after that. I'm small, but not much can hurt me. Still momma and daddy say I have to sit in the seat until I look much bigger.

While the car started to go, my thoughts showed me last night when Jacob looked so scared. I think he thought I drowned. "Momma, have you ever drowned before?" Since she was in front seat with daddy, I couldn't show her, but sometimes I think about being able to protect***** the pictures in my head so she can see without me having to touch her.

Momma and daddy had been talking, but they got really quiet when I asked her that question. Finally momma answered me. "Once."

"Why did you do that?" Going under the water is fun, but trying to breathe it in would hurt lots.

"Nessie, Momma didn't want to drown, but she was in the ocean when a big storm was blowing in and that is why she did."

Storms are bad because they make lots of noise. Sometimes rain is okay because it can be loud, but storms with thunder and lighting and wind are scary. "How did you get out if you drowned?"

Daddy put his arm around momma and they were quiet again. "Momma?"

"Nessie, maybe we should try talking about something else for a bit," Daddy suggested.

My daddy is a very smart person, sometimes smarter than Grandpa Carlisle because he knows how to make me feel good when I don't. Even knowing that, I didn't get why we couldn't talk about it. "Is it bad?"

Daddy reached his hand back, and put it over mine that was on my lap. His hand is very strong but very safe too. Jacob says it's cold and like a stone, but I think it's just right, because when I feel sad or confused his hands holding me are the best things. I showed him my thoughts even though he didn't need my help. It was one that was hard to look at, because it was a time when momma was sad. All of our family went away because they needed witness for me, and I cried for momma.

He squeezed my hand and I knew he understood, which is what I needed. Momma was sad about that memory so we needed to talk about it when it wasn't such a bad thought to have.

My eyes felt heavy and I really didn't want to sleep but that is what I did anyway.

**~*~*~*~*~**

When my eyes opened again, I was in my bed and Jack, my stuffed wolf, was snuggled with me. It was dark because the shade was over my window. Waking up is sometimes weird because my mind doesn't want to do things the way I want. Jacob was someplace, and it was time for me to go find him with Jack, so we could play more.

Outside my room it was quiet, but that is normal for us. My mommy and daddy know how to keep quiet, but so do I when I want to. Me and Jack got down stairs without anyone knowing. We walked very slowly down the hallway into the kitchen, which is where I guessed my Jacob would be, but he wasn't.

Thinking about Jacob made me remember that we were being strong for him. Jacob was gone back to Forks, the place I used to live. If we were being strong then how come it my heart hurt? "Jack we have to be strong. I know, we need to go see Little Bear and find a better name." _Daddy, me and Jack are going to see little bear._

Mostly my daddy hears what we think, so if he didn't want me to go he would tell me. Outside it was cloudy but warm, and when my feet with nothing on them touched the ground, it was warm and damp. "I think it rained. Jack, maybe we need to name Little Bear Harvey." We watched something on TV, and the man was called Harvey so that was a good enough name to call our bear.

At the edge of our woods I shut my eyes painting a picture with my mind of where me and Jack were. I squinted my eyes very hard, and put my hands on my head because sometimes it hurts when I show little bear things, I mean Harvey.

When I do show him things, I don't know how long that takes, but we saw what Harvey was doing and I made a face. He was in his clearing eating more bugs, yuck.

With my eyes closed tight I began to walk, using the rest of my body to show me where to go. My feet didn't hurt me when we walked through the woods. My hands in front of me pushed away vines and branches until there was nothing more to push away. We were at our clearing, and Harvey was still eating bugs. "Don't you know those are yucky? I think maybe we need to show you real food."

Harvey looked up at me and Jack before he got back to digging around his log. I shut my eyes again and remembered the deer we got the other day, pushing that until Harvey could see it.

My bear growled and sat back with his legs sticking in front of him like a very fuzzy teddy bear, only he was real. "Stay there," I said as I turned and put Jack down by a tree.

I took in a very deep breath and shut my eyes again until what I breathed in was what I could taste. Lots of deer were out, but all places far away and daddy would need to go with me. _Daddy, I need to get real food for Harvey if you don't want me too, come find me._

When Harvey made another growling sound it was time to go. This time I had to leave my eyes open, because I didn't know how to go without seeing instead of just touching. Running quietly through the woods was easy for me, and the smell of the deer guided me to them. I think the groups are herds but sometimes I forget what things are named. There were girls that had to be momma's, so I wouldn't hurt them, but the boys I could get, but not the babies.

Just before I could even make a move there were voices, and I fell flat to the ground because they were strangers and I couldn't see them.

"Just pick off one of the does," a strange man said.

"No, I want that buck."

That was when the loud bang happened, and it was like the thunder was coming for me even though it wasn't raining. _Daddy help help help._

My eyes were closed as tight as I could get them, and Daddy would come and run them away from our land. There was another loud bang and it kept making noise, but no one I knew was around. _I won't go away again alone, please help daddy._

There was another bang, but it was not as loud so I looked up. All the deer had gone away, and when I got up my dress was all wet and dirty. Crying wasn't what I liked, but everything felt bad for me. I missed Jacob, Daddy didn't hear me and know that I needed him, and Harvey wouldn't get deer meat.

Going back to my clearing wasn't as easy because I couldn't stop crying. It wasn't really loud because I hate hearing it, but the tears wouldn't stop coming out of my eyes.

"Nessie?"

Even though I felt mad at Daddy, he was here and I let him pick me up. "I thought for you to come and you didn't daddy. I went to get deer for Harvey and there were strangers and banging and Jacob left and you didn't come when I needed you."

We weren't walking anymore and I felt daddy rocking us. "I'm sorry baby, that won't ever happen again.

I hugged my arms around his neck as tight as I could. "Why didn't you hear me?" More tears came out of my eyes and the crying wouldn't stop either.

"I think you have some of your Momma's abilities, and I can't hear what you think unless you show me like everyone else."

"Noo, I need you to hear me," My heart hurt and Momma hugged me and Daddy.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Once, my dreams were just colors, but sometimes they show me what I miss. When my dreams show me, it is like seeing but it's not as pretty as the colors. Being on first beach isn't always warm or sunny, but the sounds the ocean makes are good. No one was there but the smells were. Beach smells are salty because of the ocean and that was the smell in my dream.

"Nessie, come on baby wake up," daddy said as I felt him kiss behind my ear. Was that a dream?

My eyes opened and we were in the car. I watched Momma's hands unbuckling me, and I could hear the ocean. Before she could get me out, I put my hand on her cheek and let her see my dream.

"No baby, this is a different beach."

Outside our car it was dark and windy, but not too cold. My momma got me out and I hugged her, hiding my face in her long soft hair.

The waves were getting louder so I looked out. "Where?"

"This is Portland Maine. Your daddy and I thought it might make you feel better to see the ocean."

Daddy made me remember about the men and the noise, and I put my hand on Momma's neck and let my cheek rest on her shoulder, so she could see what I did then.

"Those men were not to suppose to be on our land, and that is why it is so important for you to stay in the perimeter around the house those trees and your bear's clearing," My daddy said. I looked at him, but he wasn't mad at me, and his eyes were the kind I liked. "They were hunting with guns since they can't do things our way."

When I reached out, daddy took me and we both hugged. I let him see my memory of my dream, and then of our home in Forks because I missed all of them. Daddy kissed the top of my head. "Aunt Alice told everyone that we all needed to gather for some family time, and I think they should be here before you wake up in the morning."

What my mind wanted to show him next was all of us in the big house because that was what I wanted. They needed to stay here with us so it wouldn't hurt so much. We sat down and daddy and momma hugged me close.

"I think your Grandpa and Grandma are ready to start moving things into their house now," Daddy said.

"Is it big as the one at Forks?"

"Bigger," Daddy said.

"Grandma needs that so Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose won't make everyone feel icky when they kiss."

Momma and Daddy laughed and it felt good to hear it. "I want to go home so I can wake up and see them."

"Don't you want to feel the water on your toes?" Momma asked me.

"Nope, I want that for me and my Jacob."

At the car Daddy got me back in my seat, but I held his hand before he could let me go. "I need you here with me." It was lonely by myself, even if they were just in front of me.

"Bella, do you think you can handle driving?"

"I think I can manage."

Daddy got in beside me, and held my hand when we got going again. "Does it get scary when you can't hear me?"

"I worry a little more, but that is something I have to take care of, and not something you need to be sad about," he told me when I looked at him, feeling my heart hurting a little bit.

Daddy couldn't hear me, so he didn't know that I would try as hard as I could not to make him worry about me. I would always stay where he knew I was, so we could always be happy. Being happy is what is best and I had to do my part because my life is the way it is. When I get bigger maybe it won't be so hard to do things, but maybe not. My eyes were tired again so I let them close and saw colors in my head again, but those were the best and most restful and helped me so I could go to sleep.

**~*~*~*~*~**

*****Nessie's mixed up word for **project** like Bella can do with her shield

**AN: **First, thank you to all of you who have been reading and all of you who have been so kind to drop a review or two. I promise Nessie will have her conversation with Jacob, just not sure when that will happen**. **This is a short but needed chapter from Nessie's thoughts. I've got her a little more developed than at the first of the story because words are easier for her. Remember that in this story she isn't as perfect as in the books, and I'm not trying to mess that up but I also like the idea that she's still like a kid. With that in mind she won't always say things right, but that's kind of fun too. I hope you all enjoyed this. I had fun playing around with her thoughts.

**Request:** I am aware that there are Beta readers out there, but was wondering if anyone one of you might be willing to help. While I like writing, the grammatics isn't my forte, so I'm hoping that someone might be able to lend a hand with editing on this story at least. If not that is fine too but just thought I'd post this here to see if anyone was willing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Coping  
**

The ride back from Portland was quiet. Neither Bella nor I had much to say, though a few times she had thrown her shield to allow me access to her thoughts. It seemed as though we were both on the same page, both of us worrying about Renesmee and the reaction she had in the woods when she found out that I could no longer hear her thoughts. I wanted to ask our baby if that gift had helped her feel safe, though truthfully it was apparent that Renesmee had used my ability as a means to deal with her fears. Now that it was gone, both of us would have some coping to do.

"Daddy, I'm thirsty," Renesmee whispered, letting go of my left hand as she rubbed her eyes.

It had been a while since any of us had hunted, and we still had at least another hour and a half drive until we arrived home. "We still have a while to go, do you think you can wait?"

Renesmee sighed, and turned her head to peer out the window. As she did, I caught Bella's worried gaze through the rearview mirror.

_She's so sad_, Bella thought.

How I wished I could respond to that, but all I could do was nod.

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

It had just begun to drizzle when Bella pulled the car around the back of the house. Renesmee had fallen asleep again clutching my hand which rested on her lap, and had woken once crying out before she slept peacefully once more.

As carefully as I could, I reached over and unlatched the safety straps holding Renesmee secure in her seat, lifting her out and easily cradling her small body in my arms. My little girl opened her eyes once, smiling briefly as she saw my face and then Bella's once I was out of the car.

In Renesmee's room, we dressed her in a soft cotton gown before laying her down in her bed for what we hoped would be a good nights rest. Once Renesmee had Jack in her arms she relaxed, rolling onto her left side as Bella and I stayed to watch over her.

"What time did Alice say they would be arriving?" Bella whispered.

"A little before ten. Carlisle is staying behind." My wife gazed worriedly at me and I shook my head. "Brady is doing well, but Carlisle wants to stay for a few extra days, just to be certain."

Once we were sure our daughter would remain asleep, I took my wife's hand and led her from Renesmee's room, down the hall to our own. On the way home I had put a great deal of thought into keeping Renesmee safe, realizing that for a while we needed to be by her side until she could cope on her own. What I was concerned about now was getting Bella to agree with that.

In the beginning, after the confrontation in the meadow, all of us had been extra alert when it came to Renesmee's safety. At the time our baby hadn't realized the gravity of the situation and went about her day to day activities without a care in the world. These past few hours had proven that those days for Renesmee were coming to a close. Our little girl was well aware of how precarious life could be for her, and needed to feel safe once more.

"Edward, I think we need to get her to go to the meadow on her own tomorrow," Bella said as she turned around to face me.

I had not been expecting her to view things in that way, and already my head was shaking in response. "We can't do that, not yet. Bella, right now we need her to realize that she is safe, and I think the best way is to stick by her side. We need to help her find activities around here that she will like, let her adjust to not having my ability to read her mind, and perhaps later on allow her to go off on her own."

"Have you ever heard of the expression of falling of the horse and getting back on? If we don't encourage Renesmee now, I'm afraid that she will never feel safe being able to play on her own. Now more than ever we need to show her that she is just as safe as she was before that loss."

I heard what my wife had said, but was focused on Renesmee, who had woken up and was on her way to our room. A second later she walked through the door. clutching Jack to her chest as she rubbed her eyes.

"I opened my eyes and you were gone," Renesmee told us as Bella knelt in front of her.

Our little girl wrapped her arms around Bella's neck, as my wife stood up and carried her to our bed. "We were right here all along," Bella offered, as she sat on the edge of the mattress.

Renesmee sniffed in response, rubbing her eyes again. "I heard the loud bang again, and I was afraid."

As I sat down next to them, I looked into my little girls eyes seeing the fear there, knowing that I would not be able to have her away from my side. "I think you may have had a dream," I told her, putting my left arm around Bella's shoulder, pulling them both closer to me.

"Daddy, may I sleep here?"

Without having to think about it, I told her yes. If she needed to sleep in our bed until she finished growing, than so be it. Our daughter needed security and happiness and Bella and I had an obligation to fulfill that for her.

Once Renesmee was snuggled between my wife and me, sleep came quickly for her. As she slept, I stroked my fingers through her soft brown hair, humming my lullaby.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

The sky lightening up outside indicated mornings arrival. As I glanced to my left, I wondered what thoughts were going through Edward's mind. We hadn't talked, and I hadn't allowed him to hear my thoughts, only because they were full of anger and sadness. It was evident that we would not agree on how to handle the current situation with our daughter, and I had spent the past several hours trying to see things through his eyes. Losing the ability to hear Renesmee's thoughts had to be like losing the ability to hear or to see. For both of us, him having that gift, had allowed for us to be away from Renesmee without much worry.

It would be easy to keep her close, and make her very dependent on us for her need to feel secure, and to an extent we needed to do that. The part that was difficult was sheltering Renesmee so much that she would never want to be apart from us. Perhaps that was an overreaction, but at any rate Edward and I needed to figure this out before things got too out of hand.

"We should go hunting before everyone starts to arrive," I finally said, speaking softly so Renesmee could remain asleep.

Edward opened his eyes, turning his head toward me as he nodded. "I was just thinking the same thing."

Our baby was resting with her head against his chest, and stirred when Edward answered me.

"I want to stay please," she whispered.

"We all need to hunt," I told her, scooting closer to them, and rubbing my hand over Renesmee's back.

"But I can have eggs," Renesmee told us as she sat up, stretching her arms over her head.

"How about both," Edward suggested.

She shook her head, covering her face with both hands.

"Are you afraid of the men coming back?" I asked, sitting up, and gently pulled her into my arms.

Renesmee nodded her head. "It was so loud Momma."

Just the thought that someone was on our land, using guns to hunt so close to my baby, made me see red. I wanted to hunt them down, but that wouldn't help any of us. "Yes it was, but they wont be around any longer."

As my baby looked up at me I smiled, catching a strand of hair that had fallen into her face and pushing it behind her ear.

"Will you and Daddy keep them away?"

"Yes," Edward said, before I could even form a thought.

We would have to find a way to keep people away, and I wondered how long it would be before these people would react to us the way others had in Forks. Humans, with the exception of me, had a natural tendency not to come around, and until now I had never thought to question how long it took people to figure that out, after the Cullens arrival in a new place.

"Go get dressed, and we will meet you in the kitchen," I finally said, hugging my baby before letting her go.

Before Renesmee walked out the door, she stopped, turning to look at both of us as if making sure we wouldn't leave her. That worried me, and once she had gone I got up and walked over to our window. "We have to encourage her to be independent."

There was no sound, but a second later Edward's arms wrapped around me, as he pulled me gently so that my back was pressed against him. "Can you tell me why that is so important to you?"

Suddenly I felt very defensive, not liking that he was questioning me on this, but as quickly as that feeling had come, it passed and I sighed. "I don't know, last night I kept seeing Renesmee seven years from now, shut up in her room, terrified to come out. I know how irrational that seems, but I just want to make sure that she can cope with her life, which means encouraging her to do things independently of us, even at this young age."

"You and I see this situation very differently. When Renesmee is fully grown, I see her as a very independent young woman, because of feeling secure and protected when she needed that from us. I think that if we push her to be independent when she isn't ready, she will feel insecure and as an adult she won't be able to cope as well."

Did we have to push her one way or the other? Maybe we just needed to let Renesmee show us what she needed. All I could think of was my own childhood, and as difficult as it was at times, trying to take care of myself and my harebrained mother had shaped my own life, helping me become very independent at a very early age.

"Daddy, I can't find my slippers," Renesmee called out, sounding very distressed. Before he left to help her, Edward turned me around cupping my cheeks with his hands as he leaned in, brushing his lips against my own. "I love you."

"I love you more," I said resisting the urge to pull him to me and do more than just kiss.

We had time to figure this out, and hopefully we would find a balance between our views and not screw Renesmee's life up as I feared we might.

**The End**

**AN: **_**I know this seems abrupt and perhaps it is, but the rest of the story needs to be separate. Trust me when I tell you that it will all fit together, and that anything that didn't get answered here will be answered with this next one which will have a lot more action and an older Renesmee.**__**Thanks again to all of you who took the time to read this. I hope you liked it, and like I said there is much more to come in the sequel.**_


End file.
